


Tripping on Daisies

by floweryfreelance



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Cielois - Freeform, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, M/M, No Smut, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Romance, Yaoi, mlm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:14:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 35,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28139748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floweryfreelance/pseuds/floweryfreelance
Summary: Two young Earls meet each other in a flower shop. One is far more fond of the other than the other is of him, but it seems as if fate is determined to bring them together. As Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy grow closer to one another, secrets will be discovered and desires will be explored, but how much of their own pasts will they admit to one another?None of the fictional characters in this work belong to me, and all rights go to the original creators of Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji.
Relationships: Ciel Phantomhive & Alois Trancy, Ciel Phantomhive/Alois Trancy
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This piece is entirely fluff, and takes place in an AU. Alois and Ciel are aged approximately in their mid-teens. The demon butlers do not exist; Alois killed the Old Man alone and Ciel rebuilt his life after escaping the cult members. This is purely a work for those who like to see Alois and Ciel happy together.  
> This work of fiction is an original collaborative work between tumblr users @theearltrancy and @floweryfreelance. Its original format was in that of a roleplay, and has been edited to be a more cohesive story. This work was created on 12.1.20 and completed on 12.15.20.  
> Please consider following each author for more fictional works.

Roses were too bold. Honeysuckle was too permanent. White lilies were the incorrect thing to say. A young blonde boy perused the selection of flowers in a local shop, no more than seventeen. He was dressed in the uniform of a nearby school, plaid pants and matching vest with an emblem blazer over top of it. While he was intent on finding a flower perfect for his new love, he felt nothing for her. 

Alois decided on yellow pansies for a moment, remembering that those meant “thinking of you.” He supposed he did think of her, but not in the way she wanted from him. He sighed, picking the single flower from its holder and holding it to the light. His sweetheart was someone who loved him, but did not understand him, and he was far too used to this feeling. Though, he couldn’t rightfully suppose anyone could ever really  _ know _ him. The thought was frustrating, but he had to show some appreciation for the girl who usually helped with his homework, at least.

A soft bell rang from several feet away as a new customer entered the shop. It was another young man, no older than fifteen with greyed hair that shined with a blue tint in the sunlight. He was clearly a proper boy, followed closely by a servant who made sure to remain close by at all times. Dressed in lightweight attire for the Spring weather, he sported a navy blue coat and pants hemmed just at his wrists and heels, with a black cotton dress shirt underneath.

The customer this afternoon was Ciel Phantomhive, the Earl of Phantomhive and notorious watchdog of the Queen herself. What exactly he was doing in a simple, lower-class flower shop such as this one was unclear, especially to the passersby outside who watched him go in.

Only he and his accompanying servant knew his business in the quaint little shop that day: to find the perfect bouquet for his betrothed for her birthday. She was his age, and a very sunny person, so bright in fact that her personality made Ciel resemble a storm cloud. But she was lovely, and kind, and cared for her husband-to-be more than anything in the world. Ciel loved her dearly and had a plan already in place for caring for her, though his love wasn’t what it should be. Or was it? How should he know, he had never been in love before.

With a gloved hand he adjusted the patch that covered his right eye, gazing over the entirety of the shop.  _ Yellow _ , he thought,  _ I should look for something yellow. Elizabeth enjoys bright colors like yellow _ . Among the sea of flowers of every species and color his eyes stopped on the first yellow thing he saw: hair. Another young man in the shop. Not at all what he was looking for, he noted to himself before turning his attention back to the flowers, and beginning to walk around.

Noticing the other customer, the boy was in awe. He’d seen wealth before, and of course he himself was wealthy, but this other boy wore another kind of wealth on his frame. Everything on his body looked like it cost a pretty penny, despite its simplicity. He donned high-quality fabrics, rather than the kind that fluttered in the breeze or went dull in the sun. The blonde had heard of another young earl who lived nearby and this boy reminded him of that story, and yet he could still feel how different they were. It was like he came into the shop with an aura of influence and dignity. 

Suddenly, Alois felt underdressed, turning pink when the mystery boy made eye contact with him. He simply had to speak to the other boy - no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Gently, he put back the pansy he held in his hand and dusted off his uniform. He snatched a rose from beside him - white and innocent. Perfect. 

“I think I’ve heard of you.” Alois began, walking up to the other and offering the rose with a bow. Overdramatic already. “You must be the young earl I keep hearing about.” He mentioned, feeling no nervousness that he would be disliked or too bold. Those words simply didn’t exist in his vocabulary regarding himself.

The sudden voice beside him made the young man stiffen slightly, quickly turning his head to see who exactly was addressing him. His eyes widened slightly; it was that blond boy, and he was bowing.

His cheeks flushed a pale pink and he turned his head back towards the azaleas in front of him, thankful no one else was in the shop to see this little performance.

“Yes,” Ciel spoke rather cooly, looking back at the blonde boy out of the corner of his eye. “Perhaps you have heard of me, or rather, my family name.”

The Earl’s gaze lingered on the other a bit longer. Seeing as he was bent at the waist Ciel hadn’t quite noticed that he was shorter than him. The top of his head looked soft with smooth, slightly waved locks of blond hair that swept over his forehead, laid neatly in front of the bluest eyes he had ever seen. His skin resembled that or porcelain, smooth and flawless with the softest pink dusted over his cheeks and nose. Ciel felt his cheeks grow warmer, and he finally looked away.

“Maybe.” He responded, nonchalant and concerned with little outside of himself. He straightened at the waist, placing the rose in his own lapel. Alois put out a hand to the other, waiting for a response. 

“I’m Trancy - Alois, that is. I’m an earl myself.” He introduced, almost as if playing pretend with his title. While he certainly was an earl, he was still not used to the position. He had no talent in business and even less in manners, but made up for it with charisma and a particular talent for the charm of a noble. He glanced at the other boy up and down once again, examining him. 

“You’re very pretty, you know that?” He commented, putting a finger to his lips in thought. “I’m in finishing school, otherwise I’d be all dressed up like you. I’m kind of jealous.”

Ciel eyed the other Earl’s hand, then his face, and his hand again. He reluctantly shook his hand ever so gently, not wanting to be completely rude but still a bit confused by this interaction he was having.

He noticed now- the height difference. His eyebrow twitched slightly, irritated by his body’s hesitance to just bloody  _ grow _ . The frustration quickly subsided as Ciel heard the comment on his appearance, never having been called pretty before. What a silly word to describe a young man. Although, this young man was rather ‘pretty’ himself.

“I beg your-” The young man started, stopping himself once again. He cleared his throat and nodded to his servant, a subtle way of dismissing him to explore the shop, as the Earl himself now felt caught in this little exchange. “Where are you studying, then?” He asked, a meek attempt at continuing the conversation. While the uniform was that of a private academy in London, he had a hard time picturing this boy as having the same title as him, or the same social ranking. Even so, he was taught to make connections such as these, as miserable as they could sometimes be.

Alois straightened, a proud smile finding its way onto his face. “Weston College.” He stated, having learned that the name carried some weight. As if to prove it, he pinched the ironed emblem on his blazer to show it off. While he wished he’d been wearing something else for this introduction, he did feel rather stately in his uniform. 

“Scarlet Fox house.” He added, as if to fluff his false lineage. The boy was somewhat like a peacock, touting his exceptional looks and family on paper to anyone who would listen. His birth status would have never earned him this kind of celebrity. 

He leaned back on his heel, the rose flying out of his jacket pocket. Pausing for only a second, he leaned down to pick it up again, taking a moment to think before placing it now in the other boy’s hair. The sight made him giggle. “Wow, lovely!”

Upon hearing the familiar school name, Ciel’s guard faltered. Perhaps this young man was who he said he was. His positive thinking of the other man only lasted so long, as he nearly seized up as a flower was placed in his hair.

He cleared his throat loudly, reaching up to remove the flower from his hair. His pride told him to throw it, but he swallowed that thought. After a moment of flustered surprise, he crossed his arms behind his back, still holding the flower.

“Ah, a Scarlet Fox,” He noted, desperately trying to keep the conversation from derailing. This Earl was relentless. “I’m familiar with the school. My betrothed has a brother who graduated from there.”

Curse this warm weather, the heat in his cheeks was back. Ciel turned on his heel and began to wander, still allowing for the conversation to continue, though this Alois would have to follow him to keep talking. He could only imagine the conceited look on his face if he caught him blushing, which he  _ wasn’t _ . It was warm.

The blonde, still lightly tittering, began to walk around with the other boy just as expected. Were there any form of rejection towards him, he took no notice, still amazed by the young earl though he wouldn’t admit as much. Playing with wealth and playing with the wealthy were still two different things to him, not quite used to the world they both lived in. 

He put his hands behind his back as well, walking only a few steps behind. He could tell he’d ruffled the other boy - the realization excited him more. It wasn’t as if the blonde was oblivious, far from it in fact. 

“Perhaps, then, you could help me with Latin.” He suggested, mostly confident that he would say no, but also confident that it would get a reaction. “I’m only good with ladies in that class.” He paused, trying to remember a few flirtatious phrases- “Like, um... da mi basia mille, which means ‘give me a thousand kisses,’ and um.... Vestibulum tibi satis. ‘You’re quite stunning.’“

And ruffled he most certainly was. Ciel had spent years studying Latin, or rather, reading books on the language in his study. Refusing to be bested, he frantically searched his mind for any remnants of Latin that still lingered there. He smirked.

He stopped in his tracks for a moment, turning his head to glance over his shoulder at Alois Trancy but still trying to hide the redness in his cheeks. “Fac ut gaudeam,” The dark haired boy stated flatly, a cocky smile on his lips as he turned to continue walking.

_ Fac ut gaudeam _ , an amusing and sarcastic little Latin phrase meaning  _ Make my day _ . A dare, if you will. A warning not to challenge authority.

The phrase merely made the lighter boy laugh again, taking a couple quick steps to catch up to the other boy. If Alois had a talent for anything, it was to remain unfazed. Unperturbed by the jab, he kept pace with the other as they perused past the varieties of flowers in full bloom. 

“I most certainly can do that, Phantomhive... was it?” He added quickly, knowing he’d heard that name just earlier that day. It was naught more than an educated guess, and frankly, he cared very little about politeness. The way he saw it, he had the money to be unconcerned with manners. “Ah, like the toy company heir!” he exclaimed, suddenly making the connection. “Say, I’d love a little rabbit for my bedroom... I can pay you in roses, if you’d like.”

Never in his life had Ciel Phantomhive encountered such an extraordinarily forward and careless person as Alois Trancy. It was that comment that was the final straw.

He stopped where he stood, the heat that rested in his face now spreading down his neck. He turned to face the slightly taller young man, glaring daggers into those icy blue eyes of his with an irked and awkwardly forced smile on his face.

“I’m not entirely sure who you think you are, or who you’re talking to,” Ciel forced through gritted teeth, his thoughts thoroughly jumbled in his brain. “But you’re incredibly.. forward and.. rude. I’m here on an errand, as I’m sure you are as well. Perhaps we should get on with our tasks for the day, hm?”

Oh, how transparent he truly was. It was painful to watch, honestly; a young man completely flustered and taken off-guard, trying desperately to maintain some mature and orderly composure.

The blonde blinked away surprise, leaning back in the same emotion. It didn’t last long, however, Alois bursting into laughter at the absurdity. Here he supposed the other boy would have so much more charm, and yet he was so absolutely cold. If he were honest with himself, it truly only made him want to find what made him soft. 

“I’m not entirely sure who  _ you _ are,” he retorted, reminding the other that while he’d made an effort to make a friend in him, the other boy still hadn’t even given him a name. In all his years with nobles, he’d never met one quite like Ciel, let alone anyone who turned down his flirtations. 

Thinking little of it, he reached over the other boy’s shoulder to pluck a bright white daisy from its home in its display. He absolutely beamed, holding it between his thumb and forefinger. “I’m here to impress a sweetheart since she offered to help me with my studies.” He admitted, though he seemed to betray no emotion for the person in question, eyes fixed on the boy’s instead. Alois reached out, offering the daisy now to the smaller boy in front of him. “But then I saw you, and you’re awfully interesting.”

Ciel couldn’t help but scoff upon seeing the second flower being offered to him. A moment of silence passed, his gaze flickering between the flower and the other man’s face. He frowned as he plucked the flower from between Alois’ fingers, their hands brushing against one another as he did so.

“ _ Ciel  _ Phantomhive.” He retorted, shifting his weight to one hip as he pretended to admire the flower with crossed arms- a poor attempt at acting careless. “Head of the Phantomhive household, WatchDog to the Queen Majesty herself.” The smallest of smirks crept its way onto his lips as he added that last detail, feeling prideful in his assumed success at besting this other Earl.

Why he cared, however, he wasn’t sure.

“Wow, we have more in common than I thought, Phantomhive!” He exclaimed, completed unbothered by the other’s lack of enthusiasm. Alois was practically lifting off his heels at the excitement of finally meeting the boy he’d been compared to so often. The comparison was stunning, he noted in the back of his head. 

“I work for her as well! The queen, I mean. I collect intel sometimes.” He admitted, his flamboyant nature betraying him as he bowed once more. “Enchante, Dog.” Alois greeted officially, now knowing exactly who the boy before him was. To have him holding his gifted flower felt like an honor, but he wasn’t starstruck. Instead, he was glad to have found a rival of similar caliber, and more than proud to rise to the occasion.

Ciel’s mouth hung slightly agape as he listened to the other’s retort, one he was absolutely not expecting.  _ Him _ ? Working for the  _ Queen _ ? Ciel was most definitely not one to question Her Majesty, but he was certain that this employment decision must have been made by someone other than her.

_ Dog _ , he called him. Never had Ciel been so shocked by the behavior of another, particularly an Earl. Not a single word came to mind and his body refused to move. A wealthy and somehow successful young man like this Trancy boy must have paved his way in the world somehow, likely using nothing but his looks and charm to sway the opinions of those around him.

Not that he was charming. Or handsome.

Alois straightened up, dusting off his vest and flashing a smile at the other boy. He seemed to be more composed between the two, something which didn’t surprise him, but given the big game he talked, admittedly took him off guard. A personal watchdog for the Queen herself and he couldn’t handle another one like himself? 

Sighing, Alois put his hands back behind his back, clasping them. The sun would set so early in the winter, and it was beginning to go into sunset. He promised he’d meet a classmate for help with Latin... and while he would be happy to blow them off, he did need the help regardless. 

“Listen, Dog.” He started, preferring the nickname. “Trust that I’ll be inviting you to my parties in the future. I’m sure you would do well to learn to have fun.” Alois reached out once again, placing a finger under Ciel’s chin and giggling to himself. “You’re far too serious.” 

With that, he walked off to give the shopkeeper more than enough for the flowers he’d given Ciel and the ones he planned to buy in his absence. Then, he turned on his heel and disappeared into the doorway, a mystery.

The Phantomhive Earl couldn’t remember the last time he was left speechless this way. He stared into nothing with wide eyes, the lingering feeling of the other boy’s finger under his chin causing his heart to race. Completely flustered and embarrassed, he didn’t move until he heard the shop doors close with Alois Trancy’s exit.

Now alone beside the peonies he broke, scoffing as he rolled his eyes at the flower he still held in his hand. He was sure a man like that likely had plenty of lavish parties, ones that were crowded and lively and not at all a comfortable scene for himself. If an invitation ever made its way to his estate, he would be sure to decline.

And yet, he kept the flower.


	2. Chapter 2

No less than two weeks passed, and spring was well on its way as April arrived. The English weather was still quite chilly and frost still lingered in the early morning, but the sun made a regular appearance, as did the growing flowers and greenery.

On this particular evening, The Earl Phantomhive had been invited to the palace for a royal ball by the Queen, celebrating the coming of a new season. He sported a navy blue pant and tailcoat with black lace on the sleeve cuffs and down the front, accentuating the black dress shirt with jeweled buttons he wore underneath- formal, but with an extra bit of flair. Having only just arrived the young man took his time making his rounds, making polite small talk with some other noble folk and well known public figures. Of course, he was never the one to approach, he was always the one to  _ be  _ approached. Parties like this weren’t exactly his  _ happy place _ , so to say.

The ballroom, just next to a comfortable lounge room with tea and cakes and champagne, was lavishly decorated with pink and white and yellow flowers and fabrics, illuminated by golden light that made the room look like an oil painting. An orchestra was positioned at the far front wall of the room, playing a lovely waltz for the dozens of couples dancing across the floor.

Finally having escaped a rather dull conversation with a politician the young Earl rounded the corner into the ballroom, leaning against a way beside a large floral arrangement. He secretly hoped it might hide him from the rest of the party. Taking the opportunity to breathe, he stayed just there, listening to the music and watching the dancing that filled the room.

These seasonal parties always gave the blonde such excitement, enjoying them to excess. It was a chance to bring out his finest clothing, eat the finest foods, and meet some of the finest people. His pedigree got him through the chatting, nobles blaming his lack of decorum on his “disappearance” and finding it a symptom of tragedy. He’d take being an oddity if it got him into the wealthy’s playground. 

The outfit he’d chosen would betray no thoughts otherwise. Alois wore a black and red ensemble, complete with a vest decorated with patterned velvet and a frock coat in deep maroon that flared out in tails in the back. The cuffs of his coat were patterned with the same expensive velvet, and the buttons were a hefty sum alone, embedded with rubies and recently polished. Around his neck was a large cravat, complete with a cameo pin in the center and finished in silk and lace.

Unsurprisingly, perhaps, he'd been making the rounds that night with the ladies of the ball, seeking attention from anyone who would offer. He’d been parading around with several different women, promising each he would call on them when it was time for him to hold a party of his own, and yet never planning to. He’d stuffed their addresses in his pant pocket, trying to find a good moment to throw them out. Finally ridding himself from the attentions of another young lady, he walked to the side of the ballroom, placing his hands in his pockets and watching the couples in the room spin about with a cocky smile on his face, for he was quite pleased with himself. 

If he hadn’t looked around the room, he wouldn’t have even noticed the other young earl right beside him. Seeing him again brought him a rush of excitement, much like that of seeing any familiar face. “Oh, wow!” He chimed, turning to face the other. “So you do know how to have fun!.. Though, you seem quite bored.”

Ciel had spent the last few moments staring into space, the dancers in front of him a flurry of colors that had begun to hypnotize him. He hadn’t even noticed the presence of another person on the other side of him.

The strident exclamation startled him and he instinctively leaned away from the noise, his elbow bumping the large floral arrangement beside him and threatening to knock it over. He frantically grabbed hold of it, steadying it as he took a breath, looking over his shoulder at the unfortunately familiar face.

What were the odds.

Settling himself he stood straight once more, behaving as if he wasn’t startled in the slightest. “I, like every other guest here,” Ciel began in a rather matter-of-fact tone. “Was invited by her Majesty. I would be a fool to decline such an invitation without good reason.” He kept his gaze on the ballroom, worried that looking at the other young man would bring that awful heat back to his cheeks.

“I suppose.” He allowed, smirking at the stumble he just watched. It was almost impressive how little balance the other boy had, clearly not one keen on dance. He brought a hand to his lips to hopefully cover his smile, wanting to embarrass him slightly less. For what reason, he had no idea. Alois was aware of his abrasiveness, though it never really bothered him to show it. 

He turned back to the people in the center of the room, twirling and beautiful. He had always loved dance, having learned how the moment he was able. It was a skill of nobility, distinguishing him from the rest but also making him appear lithe and charming. 

“Say, are you any good?” He asked, turning his head to face the other boy once again. “You must be, right?”

Clearing his throat, Ciel released a huff of breath through his nose, cooly crossing his arms behind the small of his back. “I prefer to enjoy parties in other ways,” He said, observing the carefully calculated footwork of the dancers in front of them. He knew damn well he couldn’t dance well, let alone lead. His fiance had tried to teach him a number of times, and he always became too embarrassed to continue. “It’s an art, dancing. One I’d rather admire than take part in.”

Ciel was the type who had trouble swallowing his pride. He hated being bad at anything, and had a bad habit of becoming quite boastful whenever he found something he was able to master, such as chess. This Alois boy seemed the type to be much better at artistic things such as dancing, but likely performed poorly with more logical activities like chess. He smirked to himself.

Lowering his hand from his mouth, he eyed the other boy, this Earl who couldn’t even dance. Alois found great pleasure in the arts as a whole, shelving more logical pursuits in favor of the fine arts. To refuse to learn them was ludicrous, and especially for one of such high brow society. 

Making a quick decision, he stepped in front of the smaller earl, bowing at his waist and holding out a hand. He looked up with a smile, softer than most he’d previously given. Ice blue eyes fixed onto the other’s visible eye, hypnotic. 

“Allow me to teach you.” He offered playfully, hoping that if nothing else it would show that he can be kind as well. A good deed from the Trancy earl; a charity. “Just a few steps and I’ll let it go.”

Oh, would these dreadful shocks ever cease.

Ciel subconsciously leaned further against the wall, his gaze locked on those piercing blue eyes that stared up at him, twinkling. Blushing softly as he remembered where they were, he inched to the side, threatening to disappear around the corner.

“I.. Absolutely not-” He objected, looking around and hoping no one was looking. “I don’t dance, and you-”  _ You’re a boy _ . For some reason he couldn’t bring himself to say it, though it was true. Two higher class young men, dancing together at a royal ball? They’d become a spectacle, a joke.

Taking a deep breath through his nose he eyed the bowing boy. “...No.” He said flatly, then turning to swiftly disappear around the wall’s corner into the secluded hallway between the ballroom and the lounge.

Alois froze, pulling his hand back to his chest and straightening up. If there was one thing he hated, it was uncertainty, not rejection. He liked to think he could handle rejection, though he often reacted with some anger. Biting the inside of his lip, he looked back over his shoulder and decided to follow Ciel into the hallway. 

It was quiet here and the silence brought him some anxiety, but he was at least not alone. Keeping his hand to his chest, he found the other boy, already some ways down the hall. He could feel his breath catching in his throat, something that only occured when he was nervous. But... why would he be nervous at all? With slight hesitation, he placed a thin hand on the other’s shoulder before he could get much further. 

“I’m  _ what _ ?” He demanded in a stern tone, “What am I that makes my advances so impossible, Dog?”

The dark haired young man stopped in his tracks upon feeling a hand on his shoulder, turning on his heel and pulling his shoulder out of the other’s grasp. He furrowed his brows distastefully, though he was taken back by Alois’ sudden change in demeanor. Taking a step back, feeling small suddenly, he searched for the words.

He leaned from side to side, looking over Alois’ shoulders, and then behind himself, checking for anyone else in the dimly lit hallway. Finding some comfort in knowing they were alone, he sighed, shifting his weight to one hip as he crossed his arms.

“Well, you’re..” Ciel said flatly, though his voice grew small and quiet. He looked down at his feet, trying to keep himself from shifting uncomfortably. “...a  _ boy _ .”

Alois dropped his serious demeanor in an instant, placing both hands on his hips. His face softened into an expression that was gentle and understanding. Thankfully, the other boy still had no suspicions of him other than his attractions. 

Ever since he was young, he knew he was different from the other boys. Not only was he the target of bullying for his social status and the sudden death of his mother, but he had always preferred the arts more and failed quite miserably at the rough sports of other boys his age. It was something he kept to himself, trusting and leaning on the other boys his age when he was sold off. The old man, of course, was never appealing to him, but the other boys he stayed with would often return his slight affections - if only to be killed the next day. When he released the remaining boys and killed the old man, he promised himself not to hold back on many things, one being his appreciation for other boys and their sweet words towards him. He wasn’t entirely sure this made him a fairy, but he found few women his age to catch his fancy. He felt marriage would be torture, wishing only to spend long nights discussing literature with other high-brow men. It was something he accepted to be true long ago and held little concern for, and something that many of his elders expected him to grow out of and paid little mind to. 

“It seems I am.” He responded, playful and light. “As well as taller than you and better at dance.” He retorted, tilting his head. The mood had shifted, though he was sure he’d spooked Ciel.

Ciel blinked at him. Keeping up with Alois’ very existence felt like running a horse race on foot. Not that he could with his condition- another reason lengthy dance practices were off the table, though he’d never admit that either.

Truthfully, Ciel didn’t know what bothered him so much about his conflicting feelings regarding Alois’ affections. When they first met at the flower shop, he caught on to them quite quickly, flustered as he found himself being spoken to like a girl. Or rather, how he was taught to speak to girls. In his fifteen years of life Ciel Phantomhive had only ever been romantically involved with his betrothed, though it was never really romantic at all. He cared for her, yes, but couldn’t picture himself happily marrying her or making a family together. He’d never tell her, but the thought made his palms clammy.

Deep down, Ciel knew what he was. He read about them in the newspaper and caught whispers of gossip: men who romantically involved themselves with other men. Still young, he found himself caught in a spell of denial that kept him cold, shut away, and guarded by his own confusion.

He snapped out of his trance at the comment about his height, blushing as he glared up at Alois and crossed his arms more stubbornly. “I don’t enjoy games like these.” Ciel objected. “You’re treating me like a woman, with all of this.. flowers and dancing business. I.. I don’t understand it.” His cool composure wavered with his last statement, still trying to appear displeased and unbothered.

Sighing in exasperation at the very amount of fight in this small earl before him, the blonde crossed his arms. He looked the other in the eyes with a sincerity that could pierce silence and very much was a rarity from the older boy. Alois spoke with his hands, enunciating everything he said in only the way he could. 

“No, I’m treating you as something I find interesting.” He corrected, leaving out what kind of interest he held. Sure, there was some romantic playfulness, but in truth he was simply more interested in the other boy who somehow was just like him and completely opposite at the same time. His coldness made the more outgoing one wonder why it was there. “You don’t need to understand it, either. I’m offering you my attention.” 

He spoke in an almost defensive tone, reserved and blunt. Alois did not like being compared to a suitor, for he believed himself to be far more than that. He did not require any of his affections be returned, giving them out to anyone who gave him the time of day. It was the only way he knew how to make connections, and how he was taught to socialize. 

“Now, please allow me to have this dance.” He put out his hand once again, this time uncertain as the music could be heard faintly from the hallway.

The guarded boy shifted his gaze back and forth between Alois’ eyes and the hand held out to him, rubbing the fabric of his own sleeve between his fingers as he fidgeted. He felt embarrassed now, wondering if he had read every encounter they had incorrectly. Yet, even if he had, the other Earl was still here. He hadn’t left, he didn’t seem offended, and he most certainly didn’t appear to be judging him.

Hesitantly he reached out, gently placing his hand in Alois’, though he didn’t do anything else. He wasn’t even sure what to do.

Ciel slightly squeezed Alois’ hand, looking up at him with an unsure look in his eye. “If you laugh at me, even once,” He warned the other. “I’ll leave.”

Alois held back a snicker at the warning, a smile instead crawling onto his lips. Truthfully, he found the other’s anger quite entertaining. As much as he loved angering him for fun, he wanted to share a memory for right now - Something that they both shared that made Alois stand out in Ciel’s mind. 

Making certain that their hands were clasped tight, he took his other hand to grab Ciel’s and place it on his own shoulder. He took that hand and rested it on the small of his back, judging the other’s reaction the whole way to make sure he wasn’t wildly uncomfortable with the contact. He pressed, communicating physically and stepped forward with his left, forcing the other to step back with his right foot. All things considered, he was a skilled lead.

“Right, well, you just need to make a box.” He explained, pulling his feet together again and directing the other to do the same. “And then you go forward...” He continued, stepping back with his right foot and pulling the other towards him to do the same. “And then we go to the side again...” 

He held a lot of patience for Ciel, more than he usually did for anyone. He continued on like this for a while, ensuring that the other boy understood the basic step, even suggesting they could do only that if he’d prefer. Teaching this skill to another earl held a great amount of humor in it for him, and to say he enjoyed it would be an understatement.

The younger Earl swallowed, shifting a bit as he felt himself be pulled in at the small of his back. It was an unfamiliar feeling, being held like this.

Ciel couldn’t help but keep his eyes locked on their feet, subconsciously holding tightly onto Alois’ hand and shoulder. Carefully, he copied and mirrored each step, only fumbling a few times and nearly stepping on his partner’s toes. As they worked their way through the box shape they soon found the rhythm of the music, and began to dance.

A small smile crept onto Ciel’s lips as he watched their feet, still unable to look away. In the past, he had made it this far with his fiance, but it never felt as gratifying as it did in this moment. He felt oddly proud.

As the other boy melted into the motions, Alois’ smile expanded, excited that his lesson was already paying off. He moved slow enough for the other to pick up on his movements, even holding his arm up and pressing on the small of his back to spin him underneath it, then returning them to the previous position. He was beaming now, proud to be dancing with the other as normal, despite them being hidden. When the song ended, he dropped his hands to his own sides, stepping back and placing them behind his back in respect. 

“Now you can dance with me any time you’d like.” He suggested, raising an eyebrow. This time was flirtation, but he was not generous with it, holding back as much as possible. Alois could feel that he was warmer than before, not expecting this to end with him being the one to catch any feelings. He wouldn’t say he was, but he was most certainly nervous.

A small gasp escaped him as he was spun around, turning carefully so as not to lose his balance. As he came back around to face Alois again he blushed like mad, straightening himself out as his partner stepped away.

He brushed his hands against his coat, partly to push out any nonexistent wrinkles but also to wipe his clammy hands. “Well, that wasn’t too difficult..” Ciel retorted, standing up straight and copying the other’s movements by placing his hands behind his back. “Regardless.. thank you.” He finally said, pushing his pride aside.

It was fun.  _ This  _ was fun, whatever this was. Even at fifteen, so much of his time was spent at a desk filling out paperwork and running errands for the Queen. Not that he minded, it was his job. But tonight he had  _ real  _ fun; he actually smiled and danced, something he had never really done at any party before. And with a  _ boy _ . That tiny fact was one he couldn’t seem to let go of.

“It’s a pleasure.” He responded, a sweet smile finding its way onto his softer features. He was honestly glad to spend time with the other, perfectly alone in the dimmed hall of the Queen. Alois assumed as much, that he rarely had much fun, being the owner of a company as well as an Earl himself. Having met the other, he was also keenly aware that he didn’t allow himself to have fun, either. This was a trait that was truly completely different between the two of them.

While the blonde was aware of the tendencies of his attractions, he himself had only ever danced with women and girls, using the skill as a way to charm into the hearts of many. He was the type to have many flirtations but never truly have his sights set on anyone in particular. This moment with Ciel struck him as well as unusually intimate and sincere, standing out from much of his experience. 

“I do ever hope I see you again,” he commented sweetly, an air of truthfulness betraying him. “I quite enjoy your company.”

Ciel nodded in response, an air of false confidence surrounding him as he tried to compensate for his flustered appearance. “Perhaps you will,” he commented, a coy but sly smirk on his lips. It felt nice to have his presence desired. “I believe we’ll likely run into each other again.”

He paused a moment, as if the words he wanted to say caught in his throat. He swallowed them, starting again. “Mr. Trancy, I’d like-”

“Sir,” a quiet voice interjected, capturing the attention of both boys. It was the Phantomhive Earl’s servant that had accompanied him, holding his outdoor coat and top hat while standing in the entryway of the lounge. “You asked me to fetch you at 10 o’clock to return to your manor. You have quite an early morning tomorrow.”

Ciel nodded, sighing softly. Whatever it was he was going to say, it escaped him. Turning back towards Alois, he gave a gentle nod of acknowledgement. “I’ll say goodnight then, Mr. Trancy.” He spoke in a tone that felt regretful, like he wasn’t quite ready to leave. “Please, enjoy the rest of your night.” Ciel averted his attention then, walking past Alois to meet his servant and leave to return to his home for the night. 

Nodding at the other, he stood straight, pulling on the ends of his coat to readjust his appearance properly. “Goodnight, Dog.” He responded with a playful smile on his lips. Hoping Ciel had caught his comment, he turned on his heel and returned to the ballroom to fetch his own things. After an interaction like that, he thought it good to call it a night. He tracked down his own servant, putting on his thicker overcoat and walking into the night himself. Somehow, the air didn’t feel nearly as cold as it usually did.


	3. Chapter 3

The following week passed by so slowly, lessons feeling torturous. Alois held little interest in others normally, but even the study dates he had with the beautiful girls of the academy no longer interested him and he couldn’t place why. It was as if his mind was stuck in that night of the party, replaying the dance lessons over and over on repeat. He tried to focus, finding some solace in reading alone and in musical pursuits, such as piano lessons, but ultimately though he was here on his own volition, he would’ve rather been living in that night. 

It was torture. Luckily, he had made some friends who invited him out on a picnic on campus after classes during the week while the other boys would normally play cricket. Normally, he wouldn’t attend but now he found to be a welcomed break from his new obsession. The word crush crossed his mind a few times, but he threw it off every time, never having had one before. Sitting on a blanket in the grass with several other boys his age, he picked at his sandwich and stared off into the grass. 

“Trancy-” His friend interjected suddenly, causing him to look up in surprise with a piece of his sandwich now pulled off between his fingers. “You’re acting weird. And not like, _ you  _ weird.” 

The blonde laughed nervously, tossing the piece of sandwich into the grass for the birds later on. “Am I? I guess I’m just nervous about our final exams...” He responded, lying through his teeth.

The other schoolboy eyed him, not knowing him to be the type to stress over exams as he typically performed quite well. He smirked, deciding to pester him a bit, and the couple of other boys in the group turned in to listen. “You wouldn’t have  _ met  _ anyone at that party you went to, would you have?” The teasing words oozed from his mouth like sickly sweet syrup, and he reached across to lightly elbow Alois. “You’re always with girls but you never even talk about them. There must have been a real beauty at that party if she’s got you this distracted,  _ eh _ ?”

After the events at the ball, Ciel had spent the next week attempting to distract himself with work, unable to forget the tall blond boy who taught him to dance. Even as he sat at his desk, he found his fingers tapping to the rhythm of a waltz while his feet copied the box-shaped step under his desk. It was horribly distracting, and embarrassing whenever one of his servants noticed it. But no matter how many piles of paperwork he shuffled through or how many one-person chess games he won, he couldn’t forget Alois.

Unknowingly, the two young Earls were destined to meet once again, as if the Fates themselves had arranged it. Ciel had just arrived at the academy’s campus by carriage, on official business for the Queen. There had been some concerning activity as of late, concerning enough that the Queen called upon her Phantomhive watchdog to do a bit of digging. It just so happened that he was in need of some documents and a couple of books at Weston College, and the trip fit into his schedule that day.

Upon learning the location, Alois’ face appeared in his mind once again, remembering that he attended that school. He wondered if he might run into him that day or even see him from afar. He’d never admit it, but he  _ hoped  _ he might.

Ciel walked at a brisk pace, followed by a servant who tried to keep up. In the warmer weather of that day he dressed appropriately, sporting a grass green ensemble complete with a matching short cape and hat. He wore family jewels on his ungloved hands and strolled with a cane in his right hand. While out and about doing work, he tended to dress a bit more boastfully, so as to ensure that he was taken as seriously as possible wherever he went. However, at a school for young men and women, the freshly-turned-teenage boy stuck out like a sore thumb. As he walked through the winding pathways of the college campus, he took in the scenery more as one large work rather than noticing any of the details, such as the picnic of giddy school boys no less than thirty feet away on the lawn.

“I suppose you could say that.” Alois responded to his friend, laughing along with the others. While he knew that it was no girl this time, they had been right about the beauty and the way that he had been so distracted by the thought of that person. Sometimes he even felt dizzy, finding crushes to be rather inconvenient. Yes, he was with girls all of the time, but none of them had ever made him feel this stupidly warm. 

It was then that his friends looked up over his shoulder, noticing someone in the background on the main path to the school. They started to chatter amongst themselves about the mystery boy behind him, how he didn’t fit in, making fun and laughing amongst themselves. It was only a few moments before one of his friends jabbed Alois for his opinion, prompting him to turn around. 

His eyes were met with the sight of the boy from his mind, real this time. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the light, but when they did his face flushed bright pink and he quickly turned back to his group, smiling to himself. His friends eyed him, noticing his change in mood. He knew it would prompt questions. 

“Do you know him?” One asked- “Did you fight him?” Another added, noticing how uncomfortable the blonde had become. Another simply added, “That’s  _ the _ Ciel Phantomhive. The other young Earl.” 

Alois took this opportunity to collect his schoolbag and situate it on his shoulder, standing and grabbing another sandwich which confused his group. Pushing one hand through his hair, he looked to the sky for a moment and sighed deeply. “I need to get going.” He announced, giving a bright smile to the others, which prompted questions on whether or not he was started by the appearance of the other boy. “We’re friends.” He answered, turning to stride through the grass towards the Earl excitedly. He behaved so much like a puppy towards this mystery boy.

The chattering and giggling snapped Ciel out of his focused trance, causing him to briefly glance over at the picnic of boys. His eyes only skimmed over each of them, not even registering the appearance of the familiar blonde boy. Annoyed, he huffed through his nose, continuing to walk with great purpose in the direction of the library.

But suddenly, just as he was beginning to regain his focus, a familiar voice rang in his ears. His steps slowed as he looked towards the ground, silently asking whatever God or creator or higher being was so determined to keep them running into one another. A familiar sensation rose to his cheeks, coating them in a soft pink dust that ran all the way to the tips of his ears.

Accepting his fate, on a day of business no less, Ciel turned to look over his shoulder, only to see a bouncing and bright Alois walking elatedly towards him. He continued to walk, however, his pace slowing so the other Earl might catch up with him. Though it was clear he noticed him, he pretended not to- a little game he came up with on the spot.  _ If he’s so excited to speak to me _ , he thought,  _ he can catch up _ .

Nearly running across the still-wet grass from morning fog proved difficult as he struggled to keep up or at least reach the dirt paths. He didn’t expect the other boy to slow down for him, at least. He may not have known him too well, but well enough to know that he wasn’t the excitable type. His friends would certainly hold this over his head later; he looked downright stupid. 

Finally, he caught up to the other boy, joining him in brisk steps. Remaining quiet for a few moments, he basked in the moment, happy to be beside the other once again. It was such a weird feeling; he was usually so much smoother than this. Still, he refused to entertain the idea that he had any sort of crush on the Phantomhive boy. 

“Couldn’t stay away from me, I see.” he commented, a bright laugh piercing the silence. In the same breath, he held out the extra sandwich he’d grabbed for him, packed in paper to be saved for later. Somehow, he always had a gift ready for his rival, much like a puppy bringing sticks to its owner.

As he listened to the footsteps of Alois running to catch up to him, he couldn’t conceal his smirk. Sure, Alois had a talent for catching him off guard, but Ciel got him to run after him.

Now walking side by side Ciel made sure to hide his smile, still aiming to act as casual and unbothered as he could. The blond’s comment, however, made him blush. “I’m here on business, actually.” Ciel stated, matter-of-factly. “Official business, for the Queen.”

His eyes widened as the paper-wrapped sandwich was held out to him, taking him by surprise. After a moment of thought he reached out with his free hand, taking it gently and observing it for a moment before tucking it away into the large inside pocket of his coat. He made a little sound, not quite the words ‘thank you’, but an approving sound. This Alois boy did seem to conveniently carry gifts on his person quite often.

“Oh, actually,” Ciel started, head still fixed forward. “It’s quite lucky I ran into you. I’m looking for the library, there are a few books I need for the investigation.”

“Of course you are.” He said, sly in tone. He knew Ciel wasn’t here for him from the beginning, but whatever cruel god that continued putting them together was probably having a great time. His gift made him feel a little more at ease beside the other, wondering if they really were becoming friends. That was hopefully one lie he could check off the list. The second phrase piqued his attention again, dutifully walking in pace. 

“Oh, perfect!” He chimed, pulling his book bag strap over his head and wearing it crossbody for better movement. He straightened up, placing both his hands on the strap of the bag. “I needed to head there as well - we’re supposed to read some classics, I guess.” He paused, giggling to himself. “ _ With love's light wings did I o'erperch these walls, O sweet Juliet. Let's talk; it is not day. I defy you, stars!”  _ He quoted, knowing Ciel would catch the reference to their ever fateful second meeting and hoping it flustered him.

Ciel let a light laugh escape him. It sounded like  _ bells _ .

So rarely did he laugh. The Earl of Phantomhive had his entire life planned out for him from the moment he was born; his occupational position under the Queen, the woman he would marry, the company he would run. Somewhere in the back of his mind was a whisper that reminded him of these things when he was alone. He would never experience finding a career or livelihood of his own choosing. He would never experience falling in love or flirting with whomever he chose.

But Alois Trancy made him  _ laugh _ .

Ciel raised a hand to his lips, realizing how abnormal it was for such a sound to escape him. His face faded to a deep red as he turned his head the opposite way, unsure what to say after that.

Surprised by the sound, the taller boy couldn’t help but feel he was breaking down some walls. The realization both shocked and excited him, his goal being to get to know the other better in the first place. At first, it was a childish game just to see what everyone else was talking about when they compared the two. By now, their third meeting, it had become a genuine attempt to get closer and hopefully form some kind of bond. Alois couldn’t understand why his face felt so hot at hearing something as normal as a laugh, however. 

Yet, it encouraged him. He poked one finger into the other’s cheek, teasing him. “ _ So tedious is this day/As is the night before some festival/To an impatient child that hath new robes/And may not wear them.” _ He quoted again, the implication being a less platonic one this time. Though, such was his nature, picking up on the most inappropriate bits of poem to tease his friends with it later. Alois winked, playful. “I can also do Hamlet, for a small fee.”

Ciel brushed away Alois’ hand as he poked his cheek, turning to look at him with a surprised, blushing face upon hearing the second quote. A part of him couldn’t believe the words he was hearing while the other part wasn’t surprised in the slightest, knowing Alois.

_ Knowing Alois _ . Did he really know him by now? He supposed not. Before a month ago, he wasn’t even very familiar with any other Earl, or at the very least wasn’t interested. Ciel didn’t know anything about him the more he thought about it; he didn’t know about his family if he had one, his past, his favorite hobbies or secret talents. Alois didn’t really know him either, about any of his past or his secrets. All he knew was that this boy was horribly forward, cunning, and charming.

And his company made him feel warm.

Realizing he had been staring into the other boy’s piercing blue eyes a bit too long now, Ciel blinked, looking away again as they carried on walking. “You must perform for your friends rather often, being that well rehearsed.” He teased sarcastically, an attempt at gaining the upper hand once more.

Alois laughed nervously to himself, catching just how long the other had been looking at him. That was new. Of course, they knew very little about one another and weren’t close quite yet, but the moment felt far too intimate for acquaintances. Without realizing it, his whole body had gone hotter. What an odd feeling it was for him, having felt none of this before and yet having been in this kind of situation many times before. 

“I don’t, not really.” He admitted, In truth, he’d poured over that story so much in his younger teen years, drawn to it for some unknown reason. The tone of it was sarcastic in nature, but forbidden love always drew him in when it came to fiction. Reading it in his later teens, he’d yearned once or twice for that kind of company, he was embarrassed to admit. Alois played as if he had all he needed, but truthfully he was quite lonely most of the time. His books kept him better company than his many faux flings. “Call it a secret talent.” He added, as if reading the other’s mind.

The Earl lifted his head a bit as the words caught his attention, clearing his throat as they stopped at a fork in the pathway through the campus.

“You like reading, then,” He pointed out flatly, his arms crossed at the small of his back as he stood as straight as he could. “I do, too. I don’t often read poetry or theatrics, but I enjoy a good piece of fiction.”

Was this what it was like to get to know someone? To learn about their interests and hobbies and the things that made them tick? So often his conversations were one sided, or business oriented, or even a boasting battle between high class citizens. But now he knew something new. Alois Trancy liked to read, and he had a knack for romantic theatrics.

He turned his attention then back to the fork in the road, seeing as they had come to a stop. “Which way to the library?” He asked, tilting his chin up slightly to meet the eyes of the other boy.

Straightening up at the sudden stop, the blonde put his arms behind his head and looked to either side. Suddenly, he pointed to the right, beaming at Ciel. He’d forgotten that they were going anywhere, and really, he had no use in going to the library. Though, he would lie any day to get the hit of joy their interactions seemed to give him. The idea of a crush crossed his mind again as he walked forward lazily, gaining a few steps on the other and turning on his heel to then walk backwards. 

“What kind of things do you like to read?” He asked, honestly interested in the answer. His long legs pulled against the seams of his pants as he walked in this manner, lacking the gracefulness he normally held when turned around. “dramatic fiction?  _ Romance?” _

Ciel stifled a dim laugh, shaking his head slightly as he watched the blond bouncing as he walked. He was like a puppy, excited to see someone to play with. Ciel smirked as he thought to himself that, perhaps,  _ Alois  _ should be the one  _ he  _ calls ‘Dog’.

He turned his attention back to the question being asked of him, bringing a hand up to his chin as he tried to think. Ciel hadn’t read a good book in a long while, at least not a fictional piece. “Well, I’ve read quite a bit about history, for studying.” He noted, looking up to the sky as he tried to think. “I also read strategy books for chess. The things I’ve learned from chess books have proven to be helpful in other parts of life, aside from winning at chess.” The Earl was beginning to ramble now, never having really explored why he read the things he read.

“ _ Chess?”  _ The other boy commented back, raising an eyebrow. The blonde knew the other boy was quite boring, but he didn’t expect him to be this dry. While Alois himself enjoyed the game, he never really put that much thought into it, winning often instead on strategy he thought of as he went. 

As if receiving instant karma for his snide comment, the boy’s footing caught on a rock underneath his feet, sending him straight to the pavement below. He let out a quick hiss of pain, landing as awkwardly as he’d fallen and tossing some smaller pencils and pens from his book bag. Frowning, he looked behind himself to see that they’d reached the door to the library. 

“We’re here.” He grumbled, gathering the writing utensils closest to him and stuffing them in his bag.

This time, Ciel didn’t attempt to conceal the amused smirk that graced his lips, watching karma unfold in real time. He bent down, picking up a single pencil that had rolled up to the toe of his boot, holding it out to the other boy. “You shouldn’t look down upon studying strategy,” He jabbed, teasingly. “ _ Strategy  _ is precisely why I’m the Queen’s most prized WatchDog.” The statement was rather cryptic and almost threatening, but a hint of playfulness hidden in the words made it seem less so.

Hearing Alois announce their arrival Ciel looked up at the tall building before them. It was quite a lovely library, which was to be expected at such a prestigious school such as this one. Adjusting his cape, he turned back to face Alois who was now standing. “Do you have anything else to do at the moment?” He asked. It..almost sounded like an invitation for Alois to join him in the library, but he hated how soft that would sound. He was here for work, after all. Though, the thought of Alois accompanying him as he searched for books wasn’t a terrible one. In fact, it made him feel quite fuzzy inside.

The blonde simply rolled his eyes at the other’s boast. To him, it made him sound so much more like a player for others and never for himself. Sure, strategy was probably important, but one of the two played for fun and one because he was expected to. It made him wonder what it would be like for him if he’d had a family. Perhaps they’d have the same expectations for him. He stood, dusting off his pants. 

Looking behind himself at the other’s question, he turned back in a sort of confusion. While he could tell the other’s walls weren’t quite as high as when they first met, the last thing he expected was an invitation. It sounded kind of beautiful, really - the two of them walking the aisles together, pointing out books, reaching over the other to grab one that’s just slightly too high. Without realizing it, a light pink heat dusted over his cheeks. 

“I’m not busy today.” He admitted, unsure. “And I mean, everything else is pretty boring anyway-”

“Well if that’s the case,” Ciel cut in, as if he had been anticipating Alois accepting his invitation. “After you.”

The two young men entered the library, and Ciel seemed to pause by the door briefly as he took in the vastness of the space. The library looked larger on the inside, with shelves tall enough to require ladders nearby. Beautiful and regal oil paintings hung on the cherry wood walls, and the golden lighting was just bright enough to make it comfortable to read. It was lovely, and comfortable.

Together, they approached the front desk where Ciel pulled a small piece of paper from his pants pocket. “Ciel Phantomhive, Earl of Phantomhive.” He introduced himself bluntly, his demeanor switching to that of a businessman. “I’m here on official business for the Queen. Please, point me in the direction of these books; I’ll take them and be on my way.” He said, waiting patiently as the librarian looked over the short list of books.

“Ah,” The librarian, an older man with large classes and sparse hairs on his head, leaned in close to the paper as he read it. “These are near the same section, rows G and H.” He smiled kindly, gesturing with his aged hand toward two large book cases across the room. “You should find them there. Please let me know if I can be of any further assistance, Sir.”

Ciel nodded as a thank you, taking the list back and gesturing for Alois to follow him towards the bookshelves. Somehow, the height of the bookshelves made him seem even shorter.

Smiling beside the other earl, the switch in tone excited him. He felt almost regal, part of an entourage that only he knew he didn’t really belong in. His eyes darted from the librarian to the other boy, back and forth, admiring his talent in work. Alois, of course, had similar talent, but not nearly the same amount of tact. Dutifully, he followed, excited to see him work and wondering what he’d do next. 

“I can help, too.” He whispered, close enough behind to be practically on Ciel’s shoulder as he spoke.

The whisper made him shiver, small goosebumps appearing on the back of his neck. He instinctively turned his head towards the noise, bringing their faces just inches from one another. Ciel quickly turned back towards the bookshelf as he blushed like mad, taking the book list in his hand and tearing it in half. He held out one half to Alois, refusing to look at him until his face cooled.

“You can find this one, then,” He offered, tapping the half of the paper with a single book title on it. “But don’t ask me why I need it. That’s confidential.” He forewarned, assuming Alois would attempt to find out more due to the mystery of it all. In a way, that’s exactly what drew Alois to Ciel in the first place- the mystery of him.

Alois snickered, bringing his hand to his mouth. Of course, he wasn’t so dumb as to not have seen how bright red Ciel’s face had gotten. He always took it as a good sign that he was successfully getting under someone’s skin, which is exactly what he wanted. Leaning back with the paper in hand, he held it up to the light, pouting. 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to get me to do work.” He commented, a sly smile on his face. He enjoyed these sorts of tasks in truth, and left Ciel with a wink as he turned to scan the shelves himself. Curious, he ran through what he could possibly need books on such dark topics for. The one he was looking for himself had to do with medical knowledge on decomposition, something he assumed only serial killers would be interested in. Perhaps Ciel was one himself, he pondered. If he were, Alois would be happy to be an accomplice. Oh, the excitement and uncertainty of it all was enough to make his heart flutter.

Sometimes, Ciel Phantomhive’s job as WatchDog could be quite exhausting. Most of what he did was mystery and crime related, with the aim of protecting Queen and country, but every now and then something especially odd would come about. Something like dozens of soulless corpses reanimating and attacking people.

Because of this, Ciel had an interesting collection of information and literature, both in his study and filed away in his mind. For this particular case, he would add two more intriguing works, one on the decomposition of the human body and another on brain activity in relation to life and death.

“If I didn’t know any better,” He copied the other, running the tips of his fingers along the book spines in front of him. “I’d think you wanted any excuse to keep following me around while I work.”

Ah, there it was.  _ The Human Brain in Life and in Death _ . Ciel hummed to himself as he reached for it, going to his tip toes and...it was too high. He looked behind him at Alois, making sure he wasn’t looking at him before trying once again to reach the book just a single shelf too high, only to fail once again. Frustrated and flustered Ciel ran a hand over his face, becoming irritable as he looked around them. “Where’s one of those bloody step stools when you actually need one..” He muttered, completely unamused by the irony of there being no step stool near him, despite there being at least a dozen in the library.

Alois himself scanned the shelves, the titles catching his attention as he searched. He supposed he’d never really searched for much of anything in the library for anything other than homework. Every now and then, he’d pick up a Shakespeare or a Dickens when those came in. However, he wasn’t much of one to study for fun. His knowledge of theater and fiction remained more extensive than his attention span. 

Hearing Ciel’s comment, he turned quickly and instinctively to pull whatever book the smaller boy needed from the shelf. This motion, however, landed their faces only inches from one another, leaving both frozen in surprise. Thin fingers reached above his head, lingering in the air as Alois processed what was happening in his head. He was half-turned, his eyes making contact with the other’s for longer than only a moment. His face turned bright red, his heartbeat heard in his ears as the moment extended into moments. He’d never felt anything like it - this excitement, this anticipation, this magnetic pull to close the remaining distance. It was electric, the tension palpable and the pause heavy. 

“I-” He started, blinking quickly and looking upwards to pull the book down for the other and handing it to him. “Sorry, it’s rather tight in here, isn’t it?” He joked, playing the moment off as if he weren’t still shaky.

For a moment, Ciel thought his legs would give out, his heart thumping so violently in his chest that it made him feel weak. They were so close, just inches away from one another, the gap between them threatening to close if one of them moved even slightly.

He was still frozen for a moment staring into Alois’ eyes, not noticing the book being handed to him until a beat later. Nervously he took the book, tucking it under his arm. “A-Ah, well.. Thank you.” Ciel snuck a few lingering glances at the other boy and prayed he didn’t notice, stuck for a moment in deep thought.

His whole life Ciel had felt like he was lying about a part of himself. It was as if he questioned something about his own identity, his very existence, but didn’t even know what the question was. Everything in his life had been planned for him down to the woman he would marry, and so he never had the chance to, well,  _ dream _ . In all of his time spent reading Ciel had only ever read one novel containing real romance, and suddenly parts of it were ringing bells in his head. The female protagonist in the book described how it felt to want another person; she spoke of heat coursing through your body like a spreading wildfire, your pupils growing like a deep void and your heart hammering in your chest.

In that moment, Ciel asked himself if  _ this  _ was that feeling- if this was what it felt like to like someone in that way. Too focused on that question, he wasn’t even considering how many times it had been drilled into him that it was  _ wrong  _ to feel this way, or at least that the world thought that way. He was only fifteen, he didn’t know. He had never been in love before- he was never given the  _ chance  _ to be.

Alois was far more aware, but still equally confused. He’d never felt anything like love or attraction before in this sort of intense, dizzying way. He’d only ever felt slight warmth, a moment would make him blush here and there, maybe once or twice when he was with a girl he would admire small things about her. Though, he’d made contact with a few of those women and it had never felt like _ this.  _ It had been warm and accepting, but never exciting or thrilling. Even with previous flirtations with other men, nothing ever confirmed for him how exactly he felt regarding preference. These kinds of things were only ever for fun, attention, or power. 

The blond turned, returning to his search quietly, now determined to find the book on his scrap of paper. He thought of plays he’d read in the past about things like this. Women would be described as turning pink, feeling hot, and being weakened by the feeling. Never having understood it before, Alois always laughed at it, thinking of love being akin to a medical condition. Now, he recognized a similar description for himself - He was indeed hot, weak at the knees, and likely bright pink in the face. It felt like a feverish sensation, brought on so unexpectedly by being that close to another boy, of all things. 

Finding the book on his paper, he pulled it from the shelf and cleared his throat. “I’ve got it.” He announced in a whisper, handing it to his companion in an unusual monotone.

Swallowing hard, Ciel gently took the second book from Alois and tucked it under his arm as well. From his perspective he was the only one blushing like a mad, flustered idiot, though both boys would have appeared the same to anyone else. They made each other nervous, in the best of ways.

Without another word Ciel turned around and began making his way back towards the entrance, assuming again that Alois would follow, and gestured to the librarian once more. Again, in an instant, his demeanor changed just long enough to appear proper to the stranger. “I’ll be taking these for an extended period of time. Any late fees can be sent to my estate,” He stated flatly. “Thank you for your time.”

Once the two of them were outside the library they stopped again, quiet. They had only really planned on coming this far, so neither was really sure what to do or say now. Unable to stand the silence, Ciel forced himself to speak up.

“Well, I.. mm..” He stuttered, standing straight with one arm holding his books and the other behind his back. “Th-Thank you, again. For showing me the way, I mean.” His pocket crinkled as he moved, a teasing reminder of the sandwich he had been given earlier. He’d remember to eat it once he was home. “I’ll be off then. Lots of reading to do..”

Following him out of the building, the sun hit the blonde’s cheek as soon as they left the doors, the heat only more noticeable. It nearly made him feel sick, the nervous energy in his body. He understood the phrase “lovesick” now - though, was that what this was? Love, for another boy? The idea of it only confused him further, more than excited to go back to his room where he resided during the week and just lay down to contemplate the strange disorder. 

“I’d expect nothing less.” He responded, pale hands clutching the straps of his book bag tightly. His hands were hot too, an unusual feeling as well. The other looked absolutely stunning in the sunlight, he noted. His clothing fit him perfectly, and the light color on his face reminded him of a slice of strawberry cake. Alois caught himself, laughing off his nerves. 

“And if you have any trouble, or anything-” He began, betraying none of his nervousness, “I stay here during the week. I’m on the third floor of the Scarlet Fox dorm.” He paused, putting a hand to the back of his head and ruffling his hair, “Throw a rock. I’ll know it’s you.”

The invitation took him by surprise, and it showed on his pink face. Was Alois inviting him to his dormitory? He had never been in a dormitory. But that wasn’t the part that made him nervous. Was it nerves? Ciel wasn’t sure anymore. It felt like nerves, but happier. Excitement, perhaps?

“Y-Yes, right, well..” Ciel fumbled over his words, clearing his throat to pull himself together. “I’m sure we’ll run into one another again. Good afternoon, Mr. Trancy.” Ciel still hadn’t called Alois by his first name; the thought of that  _ really _ made him nervous. It felt so  _ personal _ .

He gave a soft nod to say goodbye, turning on his heel and beginning to walk away. Something urged him to peek over his shoulder- to look back and see if he could sneak one last glance at the other boy before he left- but he kept his composure. The crinkling in his pocket comforted him, reminding him he still had a small something to look forward to when he was back in his study, alone again.


	4. Chapter 4

Nearly a week had passed since the two young Earls had seen each other. There weren’t any parties, no urgent business, to force their paths to cross once more. They hadn’t forgotten about one another, however, as little things would capture their attention throughout the day, reminding them of the other boy.  
For Alois it was tea cups and chess sets that students would play around the school, and the occasional scent of Earl Grey tea drifting past. The Phantomhive Earl always seemed to smell like Earl Grey tea and shortbread.  
For Ciel it was the bluebells that bloomed along the path outside Ciel’s study window and the smell of cinnamon. The boldness of the flower’s color reminded him of Alois’ personality, and the scent of cinnamon made him feel warm.  
Ciel had been playing Alois’ invitation in his head over and over for the past three nights, pacing in his study under candle light as he weighed the benefits and risks of doing such a thing. It wasn’t until a Thursday in late April he made up his mind, deciding to visit the blonde’s dormitory in the early evening. His nerves made him want to go on Friday instead, but he thought Alois might have left the campus that late in the day and returned home for the weekend.  
His normal day clothes would draw too much attention, he knew that much. After a few flustered and stern words with his gardener Finnian, he was able to borrow a few articles of clothing, particularly an old tan hat and a pair of brown shorts. Ciel drew from his own closet for the rest of the ensemble: his most casual black dress shirt with a brown plaid vest over the top, and a pair of his oldest knee-high boots. He had his maid create a makeshift eye patch to replace his own, made of string and cotton. For someone who generally yawned at such theatrics, Ciel Phantomhive was certainly making quite a production out of a simple visit.  
He arrived by carriage again, only he got out alone and made his way across the campus, trying to remember the way to the dormitory he had seen before. Soon the path began to look familiar, and he nervously picked up his walking pace as he eyed each building he passed. And then he found it.  
Ciel must have stood on the pathway looking like a fool for ten minutes, staring at the windows. This was ridiculous, he was ridiculous. It was the third floor, wasn’t it? He crossed his fingers with one hand, picking up a small rock by his boot and tossing it up to a window with a light on inside- the only one that appeared to have someone inside.

Alois was knee-deep in some biology homework at the moment, finding it hard to focus. While many of his dorm mates had already retired for the evening, the blonde attempted to remain studious, knowing that his last year here would be the most important one and the most difficult. He also knew that after these tedious assignments came dissection of an animal, something he’d always been drawn to doing anyway. All he needed to do is get his mind off of the other Earl for a moment.   
Having a crush was time-consuming, he’d realized over the course of the week. Scents would remind him of the other boy, books, the way someone spoke to him, everything. Alois had finally decided it was just that - a crush. He’d discreetly read about things like this over the passage of time, and knowing he was far from alone at least made him feel a little calmer. Though, he was fairly certain he’d lose his mind if his invitation was rejected.   
Waiting by the window all week had made him quite weary, fearing the Friday that loomed over his head. He worried that his offer would go unnoted, going home Friday evening to tend to matters in his own manor. He feared signing paperwork, sorting deeds, making orders all with this stoic Earl on his mind. Life went on, he supposed, but he was addicted to the feeling he got from being that close to that small, awkward boy. He would be comfortable admitting to himself that he’d become quite obsessed.   
When the noise came, he was bent over a book in his bed, gnawing on the end of a pencil. His thoughts were drifting once again to the moment in the library - now coupled with the moment in the hallway, and the moment he first gave away a flower to a boy. The tiny tap the rock made on his window startled him, though he’d been anticipating it all week. Immediately, he put down his book and set the pencil in the spine, standing to look outside.  
There, he saw him, silhouetted in the moonlight that kept him lit. As if he weren’t incredibly nervous, he gave a small wave and ran to his door, ready to bound down the steps at top speed. Luckily, everyone had already retired to their rooms and he would disturb no one.

Ciel stood awkwardly as he looked up at the window, rocking slightly back and forth on his heels. He noticed just how quickly Alois had come to the window- had he been anticipating his visit? How silly, of course he was. He invited him, after all. What an egotistical thought, he thought to himself.  
He nervously shook out the tension in his hands before tucking them back behind his back to keep waiting. The silence and waiting allowed for his mind to wander to more irritating, irksome thoughts.  
Did he look silly? Alois had only ever seen him in such regal clothing. He might make fun of him, or see him differently, dressed this way. He put far too much thought into this, and far too much time as well. It was a casual visit after all, wasn’t it? And in the evening no less. Ciel furrowed his brows and gnawed on the inside of his lip, beginning to curse himself for the ordeal he had created for himself.   
And suddenly he heard a door open, casting light out onto the dimly lit pathway he stood on. Ciel turned his head followed by his body, standing diligently where he stood. In a way it was to be polite, though he really wasn’t sure how to behave in such an unfamiliar environment, in such unfamiliar clothing. He felt sneaky.

Full of boundless excitement for which he couldn’t readily explain, Alois threw the door open, taking a moment to look out to the evening and find the object of his affections. Once he laid eyes on the other, he slowed, walking towards him at a regular pace so as not to raise suspicion. It was the kind of place where too many people were interested in everyone’s whereabouts, as teenagers often were. He could feel his heart jump into his throat as he walked up to the smaller boy fully, looking him up and down. A smile crawled to his lips, playful.   
“I didn’t know you could look so...” He paused, hoping his face didn’t betray any of his actual feelings, “simple.” Humble. Comfortable. Perfect in anything. Warm. In a way, comforting, reminding him of his true home. As if he’d stepped right out of Alois’ desires for what his past had truly looked like and manifested right in front of him. He felt himself getting carried away, clearing his throat and looking slightly past him. “I’m intrigued that you decided to visit after all. Did you need help with something, perhaps?”

Ciel pulled down on his vest, straightening it out as he cleared his throat. “I didn’t want to draw attention to myself, is all..” He defended himself, despite having just spent the last few hours desperately trying to figure out what to wear. He made the choice, so he might as well own it.  
He shifted his focus to the other boy briefly, taking in his appearance. Alois was still wearing his uniform, but he didn’t have the blazer now and his shirt was slightly untucked. The light from the street lamp behind him illuminated his already golden hair and softened his features. He looked like a painting.  
“No, I-” Ciel held his head high and confident, though his voice revealed how flustered he was. “You invited me and I thought it rude not to accept. Oh-” He shifted his weight suddenly, remembering something he brought as a gift for Alois. The smaller boy reached into his vest where a small pocket was hidden, pulling out a stem of bluebells no longer than the length of his wrist to his fingertips. It was still perfectly preserved, as Ciel made sure to keep his vest from crushing it as he traveled. Shyly, Ciel held it out to Alois, keeping his eyes on the flower instead of Alois’ gaze. “I brought this for you- a gift. You’ve given me multiple already so I.. I decided I should return the favor.”  
Ciel must have wandered through the garden at his manor for an hour, searching for a flower. He considered bringing a book- too boring for Alois’ tastes, or food- Alois probably would have eaten by then, but settled on a flower. After all, it was how they met in the first place. How poetic, he thought to himself as he picked the stem of bluebells from the ground and tucked it away in his vest.  
“It reminded me of you, somehow.” He swallowed hard. “I- well, we met at a flower shop. It seemed fitting.”

The gesture took him off guard, eyeing the flower for a moment, frozen. It was a bluebell, of course, there is no way it would be anything else. The sight of it threw him back thirteen years, remembering his late brother. Many of them grew by the moors where he grew up and the two would often give them to one another. Sometimes, they would put them in their hair and pretend to be fancy ladies, wooed by simpler men than they would’ve been and Alois still would be. It wasn’t as if Ciel knew any of this history, but he may as well have. It wasn’t as if he could admit it to him, but the nod to who he really was underneath everything made him feel more seen than he had in years.   
Not thinking, the blonde stepped forward, grabbing the other boy’s shoulder. He lingered for a moment, giving himself a chance to back out if he wished, but he wanted nothing more. Then, he pressed his lips to the other’s, soft and gentle.   
He’d never kissed another boy before, and it felt different. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, feel heat crawling up his body, feeling an almost magnetic draw to keep going in this moment for much longer. It was as if he’d never kissed anyone before, as if he was a soft virgin woman at the tender age of marriage on her wedding night; it was as if he were Romeo, and soft Juliet was the sun. It was as if all those poems and books and plays finally clicked.   
It would be safe to say Alois Trancy was falling in love with Ciel Phantomhive.

Ciel inhaled sharply as the gap between them closed, his eyes widening in disbelief as he was kissed. He would have dropped the flower if it weren’t for Alois’ hand holding the hand it was in.  
In that moment, everything around the two of them seemed to freeze, like a portrait saved in time. Ciel’s mind was a flurry of thoughts, though not one of them told him to pull away. He had never been kissed before- he had never kissed anyone. The feeling of Alois’ soft lips on his made his body feel warm and his legs feel weak, heat rushing up to his cheeks and ears and turning him as red as a rose.  
But no matter how unfamiliar it was- no matter how new- he didn’t want to pull away. 

Alois was soft and gentle, other hand reaching up to hold the back of Ciel’s head and the two lost themselves a few moments more. The evening was silent for them, the breeze gentle and mild for once. His mind went quiet, when normally it was so loud everywhere he went. This moment was calm, comfortable, and warm. Judging by how long it went on, the feeling was mutual.   
Reluctantly, the taller boy pulled back, gazing into Ciel’s visible eye and smiling contentedly. He dropped his hand from the other’s shoulder, lifting the bluebell from his shaky hands and placing it in his own golden blonde locks. Straightening up, he allowed his other hand to slip down the other’s shoulder, though remaining on his arm.   
“I just wanted to test something...” He said, wiping his bottom lip with his thumb. He laughed once to himself, quiet and triumphant. “Do forgive me.”

Ciel blushed darkly as he watched Alois wipe his lip, bringing his own fingers to his lips and wondering if he was meant to do the same. But he didn’t want to wipe it off. In fact, he missed the feeling.  
Realization set in and he whipped around, checking behind him and then leaning to the side to see around Alois. They hadn’t been seen, as far as he could tell. He panicked for a moment, and attempted to smooth his nerves with a more calm and collected attitude.  
“You have a lot of nerve, doing that out in the open..” He grumbled, still standing close to Alois as he felt his hand lingering on his arm. His brows furrowed then, and he looked back up at the other boy. “What...exactly were you testing?”  
While Ciel couldn’t put his finger on the reason, he could tell he felt more comfortable suddenly. He felt as though a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders- like a secret had been shared and connected them together, closer than before. Alois Trancy still did things to him; he made Ciel feel warm and weak and intimidated and confused, but he felt lighter now. Excited.

Satisfied with himself and taken by the other, he stepped back to adjust the flower behind his ear slightly better. He cared not about anyone else, possessing a talent to lie his way out of absolutely anything. He hummed lightly to himself, a weight lifted off his shoulders as well. The tension was gone, now a string that tied the two together. Alois felt more comfortable now, though his heart was running a marathon as if he should be far more nervous.   
“That, Dog, is confidential.” He answered, slipping a wink his way. “Let’s go for a walk, since you’re not here on business, apparently.” He teased, reaching out once again for the smaller boy’s pale hand with his own, slightly bigger one. Playing it off as if he were far more experienced than he really was, he began to walk towards one of the paths that lead into a garden area. “Don’t underestimate my ability to lie, in case anyone saw.” He added, having noticed the nervous energy seeping off the Earl.

Ciel stumbled slightly as they began to walk, too focused on Alois’ hand gently grasping his own. He seemed to be experiencing multiple firsts on that day, first being kissed and now holding hands with the very boy who kissed him. His heart fluttered at the nickname, now seeing it more as a playful term than anything else.  
The Earl thought it best to not say anything right away and just walk, side by side and hand in hand with Alois. Instead he wondered how familiar Alois was with this type of thing. He seemed so confident, kissing him and holding his hand and dancing with him. Oddly enough, the self-assured and confident aura that seemed to radiate from the other Earl allowed him to relax just enough to enjoy the moment, walking hand in hand through the evening air.

They walked down the path that curved behind his dorm building for a while, just admiring the evening air and the silence that never felt too uncomfortable. After the sudden kiss, both had gone quiet, finding little that was worthy of breaking that silence. The garden had been watered before everyone had retired for the night, which left the ground dewy and glittering as they wandered into it and sat down beside one another on a bench.   
Alois sighed, looking up to the sky that was beginning to reveal its stars. He felt comfortable with the other boy, not wasting his time at the moment with what it all meant. Of course, this was new territory for him as well, but the blonde was far better at playing it off.

Ciel had begun to ease into the feeling of his hand being held inside the other boy’s. He still kept a sharp eye out, nervous that someone would see, but he found himself still being able to enjoy the walk they took under the stars in the cooling night air. As they sat down their hands briefly parted, and Ciel found himself reaching back for Alois’ hand almost right away as they got comfortable. His hand felt cold without Alois’.  
The two boys looked at the stars awhile, just sitting in silence and enjoying each other’s company. Ciel was beginning to find it difficult to stay so relaxed, his mind racing with a million questions he didn’t know the answers to. Finally, he spoke up, his free hand adjusting his eye patch as something to fiddle with. “...Have you done that before?” He asked, his voice soft and unsure. “...With a boy?” He must have, he thought, remembering the other’s confidence as blush rushed to his cheeks.

The boy leaned back, noticing how Ciel’s hand continued to find his effortlessly no matter how they situate themselves. The night air encompassed them, threatening to one day snuff them out if it weren’t keeping them safe under its blanket. While the air was cold, the two were warm side by side, and the feeling was nice enough not to question too much in the face of so much darkness. Upon the question, Alois thought to tell him all this, but remained restrained.   
“Never with a boy.” He admitted, thoughts far away as he picked out a few constellations with his gaze. “A few times with a girl, but never by my own choice.” He looked down, locking eyes with the other’s. Several times he’d been forced to do more, but he’d never tenderly kissed anyone on his own volition. It was something entirely new.

Ciel nodded, looking down at his lap as he pondered over the response. So, he had kissed before, just not another boy. He seemed awfully confident considering it was his first time kissing a boy. Not that Ciel minded. If Ciel had been the one in charge, it likely never would have happened.  
He leaned back then with his palms flat against the bench behind him, and he looked back up to the sky. “...It was a first for me.” He admitted, trying to sound as if this wasn’t an incredibly monumental day for him. Whenever Ciel felt overwhelmed or even the slightest bit flustered, he always tried to act cooly to cover it up. If he behaved as if he was unbothered then others around him would think he was just that, though somewhere in the back of his mind he knew Alois Trancy would have a knack for seeing right through him.

The blonde smiled to himself, assuming as much. While the other was betrothed, he was hidden behind many walls. Even now, he couldn’t be sure he was pulling any of them down or just biding time. Though, he could in fact tell he’d at least shaken the other’s pride. Ciel Phantomhive seemed a lot smaller to him under the stars.   
“I didn’t know you’d let me.” He admitted playfully, less from a place of understanding and more from a place of learning what made the other tick. He snickered to himself, putting one hand up to his mouth delicately. “It’s good to know I’m not losing my mind thinking you enjoy my presence. You betray so much information without even saying anything, Phantomhive.”

The young Earl’s eyes widened, blushing darkly as he felt the need to defend himself. He shot the other boy a glare, sitting up straight. “I haven’t the slightest clue what you’re on about..” He sneered, turning away again and crossing his arms. “You didn’t give me any warning anyway, of course I let you.”  
And he’d let him do it again.  
Ciel knew what Alois really meant by that. He knew he could have shoved him away, or turned and ran, but he didn’t. Out of the corner of his eye he watched as Alois gently twisted the stem of bluebells between his thumb and forefinger back and forth, and it made him feel soft inside. He was glad he brought that flower to begin with.

Alois chose not to immediately retort back. knowing the other boy wasn’t nearly as dumb as he was currently letting on. Instead, he focused on the flower in his hand, a relic of memories passed. Somehow, he’d ended up back here - nighttime amongst the flowers and trees with a bluebell in his fingers. Alois silently wondered to himself if the Earl had done research on him at all and found where his family line breaks - the one detail he never stitched up for his lie. The true Trancy Earl had long left for bigger and better things and likely died or changed his own name a long time ago, disassociating with the family. Jim would’ve done the same, if he’d come from such wealth to begin with.   
Placing the delicate flower back into his hair, he looked over at the other Earl, proud. While his lies were at times heavy and overwhelming, someone like Ciel would likely think him scum without his facade. It was nice, knowing that all he had to do to find happiness and security was play pretend at being an heir. Of course, with the death of the Old Man, he had become exactly what he played at being with no one the wiser. He’d learned dance and had a knack for it, a surprise to him. He’d learned to read and write, unlike those bullies from the town he grew up in. He’d come to enjoy reading, enrolling himself in this school purely for appearances but hating absolutely none of it. He was becoming a truly disciplined, talented, charming kind of Earl - one that no one would ever doubt.   
Of course, there was this matter in front of him - he’d unlikely ever marry. This in itself was fine, but if nothing else was confirmed, he’d confirmed how he felt about other boys. He knew that eventually it would breed rumor and distaste, but what was he there for other than to sour the taste of a noble. He hoped it would change a few minds, maybe he could still find happiness. He hoped that he wasn’t alone in this. Curiosity struck, and hoping to confirm again what they already knew, he leaned over and placed a hand underneath Ciel’s chin, pulling him into another, less frantic, kiss.

The bluenette boy willingly turned his head, subconsciously hypnotized by the still unfamiliar feeling of another’s hand placed so delicately on his jaw. As realization hit him he inhaled sharply, stiffening and holding as still as he could as he anticipated another kiss.  
And there it was again; a poetic kind of calm and bliss that tasted like honey and smelled of lavender, one that could bring ease to even the stiffest of men. The feeling of Alois’ soft lips on his own made his shoulders fall, his posture faltering as he, this time, leaned back into the kiss of his own volition. There was no noise in his head; there was no panic or confusion or stress, only the loudest and most comforting silence Ciel Phantomhive swore he had ever heard.  
His body began to take over then as he brought a pale and gentle hand up to Alois’ cheek, cupping it softly as he had seen other kissing pairs do in public and in paintings. His thumb rested on the apple of the blonde’s cheek, the rest of his fingers combing through the nest of hair until they too found a comfortable place to rest.  
Ciel knew he could stay right here, in this moment, forever if he were able. While he still didn’t know what these newly discovered feelings were or what they meant, he didn’t fear them as he feared so much of the unknown world around him.

The night around them kept them safe, silence lengthening and being peppered with the sounds of crickets. The feeling of the other’s hand on his cheek was soft and safe, the uncertainty of everything else melting away for a few minutes. It was everything he’d been wanting that night in the hall, that day in the library, the chase of a mystery he never truly expected or even wanted to figure out. It didn’t matter if Ciel would never truly know him; this was their shared secret.   
He pulled back only slightly, resting their noses together as if distance was a curse. Alois smiled, laughing quietly once or twice, keeping his hand right where it was. “Now,” he teased, breath hot on the other’s skin, “I’m treating you like a girl.”

Ciel stared into the other’s bright blue eyes, his own face flaring red as roses upon hearing the snarky comment. His pride urged him to lean away, to turn away and become difficult as he usually did in response to things like that, but he simply couldn’t. Ciel felt his heart beating violently in his chest, so hard he could feel his pulse in his throat and hands. Alois’ breath was hot and teasing in his face, and their noses pushed together brought him even further comfort.  
“Well I’m not a girl,” Ciel sneered, managing a sly grin as he raised his brow inquisitively. “After all, if I were a girl...” He reached up to adjust the slipping bluebells in Alois’ hair, tucking it sturdily behind his ear. “...you likely wouldn’t be kissing me like this.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d assume you sound rather jealous~” he played, impish smile on his own lips. “Trust me, if you were a girl, you may have already convinced me into bed.” He admitted with a tinge of chagrin. While the admission was meant to be a joke, he wasn’t a huge fan of that part of his personality either - playing sexual favors to get respect and get his will done wasn’t his favorite way, for obvious reasons, but one he knew worked. It was more likely he wouldn’t have slipped into bed with the other if things were more socially acceptable not because of gender, but because he’d never actually cared to use the Phantomhive Earl for his own gain. The admission, if Ciel had known anything about him, would be a compliment - not a slight.   
That, and Ciel was another boy. His cheeks heated as we realized what he’d said. “Not that I- I’m not-” Jesus, if only he could watch his mouth better.

Ciel instinctively leaned away as well, completely taken back by the sudden forward comment. If his face was red before, the color it was now was indescribable. He sat up straight, flattening out the wrinkles in his common clothes as he fidgeted. “W-Well I-” Ciel stuttered frantically, stumbling head first over every word that left his lips. “I-I’ve only just..d-done this, and now you’re already making comments like that?”  
How forward, he thought. How impolite. Ciel hated impolite things, which made it even more confusing why he felt the urge to smile.

Alois sighed, leaning over into his lap on his elbows. He’d messed that one up. Normally, he had such smoothness, and charm, and even if he was quite forward, he was never this awkward. Something about this felt much higher stakes than even encounters in which he risked his life.   
“I didn’t mean that.” He mumbled, putting his face in his hands. He was quite frustrated with himself. “I don’t-... I mean-...” He sighed again, sitting up straighter so he could be properly heard. “You mean more than that...” He admitted, taking the bluebell from his hair once again and playing with it between his fingers for comfort. His thoughts were a million miles away, wondering when he would get caught for the web he’d woven. “Have you heard of my... well, my father?” He betrayed, still unable to use that term for him with any smoothness.

You mean more than that. Ciel turned back to look at him, surprised but still flattered by the comment. He meant more than that? Of course the comment about going to bed together was a bit forward, but Ciel hadn’t truly taken offense to it. It just shocked him, is all. If anything, he was trying not to smile at just how flustered the other boy became when he caught himself.  
“Oh, I..” Ciel thought for a moment, pondering the Trancy name as he fiddled with his fingers. He wasn’t enormously familiar with the Trancy family, only just familiar enough with rumors that had emerged over the years. Most of the time, no one talked of the Trancy nobles at all. “..I don’t know much beyond your family’s name, if I’m to be honest. Why? Was he...crude?” He questioned, trying not to pry too deeply but still so intrigued to learn more about Alois. After all, he had already shared so many firsts with this boy, and he didn’t even know him. Not that Ciel was elated by the idea of sharing stories from his own past, either.

Alois looked up briefly, betraying a dark, defeated kind of snort. In a way, he was glad that the other boy hadn’t heard of anything. At the same time, he almost wished he had, just so he didn’t have to fill in the blanks.   
Alois heard the rumors about the town before, each one worse than the last. The thing he’d never reveal was that all of them were true. The rumors that they’d found dozens of young boys living in the basement, that the Old Man made his money dishonestly, that the son had since long disappeared and returned all of a sudden at his father’s funeral clad in mourning wear that he only wore for a week. Suddenly, the son of the household was the family head and would attend school. Alois told no one who he really was.  
“Crude is hardly the half of it.” He admitted, looking away into the distance, into the darkness. “Much of my humor is derived from... that place. Do forgive me.” He settled on, allowing Ciel into his world only as much as he desired. He paused, the mood changing as the silence grew, this time questioning and uncomfortable. “I’m glad he’s dead... Whatever rumors you’ve heard, they’re true.”

Suddenly, every rumor he had ever heard about the Trancy name appeared in his mind like sick whispers. All of them were true? Ciel knew full well that there was pure evil and filth in this world; Hell, it was part of his job to sniff it out and put and end to it. But every whisper of the Trancy name he had ever heard- about the boys, about the secrets, about the former Head of the Trancy family- he always tried to silence them. After all, rumors were essentially useless gossip without any proof, so while he would listen to them, he always tried his best to take whatever he heard with a grain of salt.  
It made sense to him, however, what Alois was saying. Much of Ciel’s own personality was formed as a result of his own traumatic past, one he wasn’t sure he was entirely ready to reveal. Thinking about it made him feel small.  
“...There is evil in this world, Trancy,” Ciel began, leaning back against the bench as his hand found the hem of Alois’ untucked shirt and began to rub the fabric between his fingers. He could only imagine how Alois felt in this moment; likely a feeling all too familiar to Ciel. He wanted to dim that feeling, if he could. “I’ve seen it myself, experienced it myself. I suppose that’s something else that makes us similar.” He admitted with a smirk, looking to Alois out of the corner of his eye. “The point is that one is strong enough to survive it. And it looks to me like you’ve managed to do just that.”

Everything was starting to feel so heavy, crushing him under the weight. Hesitantly, he wondered if Ciel would even stick around after knowing the corruption he’d tasted. Alois had a habit of losing himself in his own head, overwhelmed by his own emotions and thoughts. It was a habit of the weak-willed that over the years, he’d tried to resolve but never had much success with.   
Then, he could feel tugging on his shirt. His eyes shot over to his side, where Ciel was still beside him, connecting to him in the gentlest way he could at the moment. Uncertain and shaken, he slid over his hand, lacing his fingers with the other’s against the cool stone of the bench. He’d always been going through this alone - he assumed someone like Phantomhive would’ve had a posh enough life to disappear after hearing something like that. However, he knew precious little about that family; he’d become a noble long after the tragedy, and no one would talk freely of it anymore.   
“I guess I have.” He noted, his voice soft and his tone insecure for the first time in the other’s presence. “Evil exists. I’ve seen it, I’ve worn the bruises.” He paused, his other hand reaching out to push back Ciel’s hair from his seeing eye, a gentle gesture of care. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Ciel’s cheeks were dusted with an angelic shade of pink, his own hand resting on Alois’ against the side of his face. He struggled for a moment to make eye contact, still a bit shaken himself from the brief memories he just endured remembering. Unsure what to say he swallowed hard, leaning forward and pecking the softest and most careful kiss on Alois’ lips, causing the heat in his face to run to the tips of his ears.  
“People like us ought to stick close together, no?” He inquired, his voice barely louder than a whisper. “No one else understands the pain, the things you have to do to survive, and then live with yourself afterwards..” Ciel looked away then, swallowing hard as he worried if he had said too much that revealed his own secrets. “..No one else understands it unless they’ve shouldered that weight.”

His eyes misted over, nearly brought to tears as he attempted to pull himself from his thoughts. Nodding wordlessly, he rested his forehead against Ciel’s, closing his eyes for a moment. The memories were always so close to the surface, threatening to take him over and turn him into an evil himself. He’d already done so much just to free himself that he knew would send him directly to Hell without question, and yet he would still do more.   
“I assume you do, then.” He commented, not moving from his position. It was comfortable for him to hide against the other boy who had offered himself. Oddly, it was already so comfortable to be so close, as if he’d just been waiting his whole life for this person and knew him immediately. And yet, he knew next to nothing. “I do hope you’ll tell me one day...”

Ciel smirked half-heartedly, releasing a puff of air through his nose. He placed his other hand on top of Alois’ against the bench, still craving to be even closer than they were now. It felt safe, like they could hide together in the darkness of night for all eternity, understanding one another and not desiring a single thing more.  
“Perhaps..” Was all he said, almost feeling guilty for having said so little while Alois blatantly confirmed all of the hearsay of his past from the last few years. Similarly to the other boy, Ciel often made an effort to forget the things he had been through, and the things that had been done to him. But the memories would return to haunt him spontaneously; his dead parents, men in cloaks, cold iron bars, and hands holding him down hard enough to bruise his pale skin. Some of it, though, he still could barely remember. The past plagued him, much like it plagued Alois.  
He snickered tepidly, also not wanting to move from this comfortable and safe position, like Alois. “I wondered before if fate was real..” Ciel smirked, tracing small circles on the back of Alois’ hand. “..We kept running into one another, like it had been planned. Perhaps this was why.”  
Ciel wasn’t the type to believe in divine intervention, but for this case and this case only, he considered making an exception.

A soft smile reaching his lips, he felt safe and comfortable here with the other, wondering the same. It was odd if it were any other situation, certainly. It had been only a month or so, and they’d spent multiple nights and days in one another’s presence, completely outside of choice. This night was the first they chose to spend together, and it had already led to such a deep connection to rival any Alois had ever felt in his life. In fact, this was the first night he hadn’t felt entirely alone.  
He sighed, standing slowly, making sure to place the flower in his vest pocket. His hand never lost grasp of Ciel’s as he did so, making sure contact remained between the two. If this were in fact an act of God, it was still a cruel and unexpected one, but he’d take it for all it was worth for now.   
“We should head back. It’s getting late.” Alois noted, soft and regretful. “Though... if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to make this a weekly thing. Y’know, these visits.” He offered with a soft smile. “For all anyone knows, I can be your business partner.”

Ciel nodded in agreement, following Alois to stand while still holding his hand gently. “You’re right, I hadn’t even realized..” He said, looking up at the sky for a moment. The sky was completely dark now, thick clouds only allowing for a handful of stars to make a brief appearance before being covered again. It was indeed late, and his carriage home was waiting for him.  
“Although,” He added as they began to walk, their joined hands swinging slightly as they did. “Don’t think I’ll be sharing any confidential information with you.” Ciel warned, a nod to Alois’ comment. “We’ll prepare a good lie in case anyone asks what we talk about. I’ll leave that to you, since you claim to be so talented at it.” He smirked warmly, tucking his other hand into his pants pocket.

Alois smiled warmly right back, bringing the other’s hand to his lips to place a soft kiss upon it before they returned to the open. “Of course,” he agreed in a near-whisper. “I’m helping you with cases. We’re friends through our network.” He paused, thinking. “All our alone time can be for... discussing top secret business.” The blond chuckled, “no one will be the wiser.”   
With that, the blonde bid him adieu for the remainder of the night, returning to his dorm slightly past ten at night. At that point, no one else was awake so he was careful to sneak his way back in so as not to get in trouble, closing the book he left on his sheets softly and placing it on the floor underneath his bed. Before crawling into bed, he took the bluebell from his pocket and placed it on his bedside table, still smiling. While still filled with nervous energy, there was some peace to it. There was far more certainty to it, knowing now why he felt the things he did.


	5. Chapter 5

A week would pass before they met again, making a habit of taking walks together. They talked about everything and yet nothing of all, the past of both boys hidden under a layer of decency. Every now and then, one would bite their tongue before revealing something they weren’t quite sure of yet, Alois actually learning a lot about the Phantomhive Earl from his own friends who had noticed him around campus.   
Apparently, there had been some huge house fire that had killed the Earl’s entire family years ago, including the dog and his twin brother. Then, the boy had appeared at the funeral, fixed up the manor, and moved right in as the family head. Perhaps they were far more alike than he’d realized, both born of tragedy and fire. Alois hadn’t known the details, but if he had, he would’ve made even more parallels to his own past. The underbelly of London had a way of corrupting children and giving them a taste of blood young enough to shape them for evils themselves.   
It would be only a few days into the next week until they both sat on a picnic blanket in the middle of the day with Alois’ friends. The blonde had only invited him to steal kisses in the library stacks, which he just had, and now he sat with his face still somewhat red, a book in his lap. His friends were far more interested in the other Earl, having only heard of him but never meeting him officially. This gave Trancy some room to recoup, and Ciel a reason to be so pink in the face.   
“Did you know that in Ancient Rome, they would all bathe in one big room in public?” Alois interjected, looking up from the pages and taking a sip of the tea he’d poured himself only moments earlier. “Kinda luxurious, innit?”

It was in situations like these that Ciel found himself to be rather quiet and reserved, not attempting to speak often. He sat on the picnic blanket just a few feet from Alois, sitting cross-legged with a straight back and his hands in his lap. The rest of the boys sat leisurely, though they were so very interested in Ciel and determined to ask him questions and poke and prod at him.  
Ciel was indeed quite pink in the face as he was flustered for more reasons than just that. He had a few choice words with Alois while hidden in the library, as he hadn’t expected to be spending lunch with a bunch of other boys whom he’d not planned on meeting. The Earl had dressed nicely that day, too, in a cotton blue ensemble with lace on the hem of his jacket and blue shorts to match, also sporting his two favorite rings on each hand, one being the Phantomhive family heirloom. In other words, Ciel had dressed to impress Alois, not his cluster of schoolboy friends who were now treating him like a zoo animal.  
“You don’t say,” Ciel noted at Alois’ comment, spinning his ring around his finger as he fidgeted uncomfortably. While he hated large groups to begin with, he was more used to socializing with grown adults, not other boys his age. “Seems a bit too public for my taste..” He commented.  
“So,” Another boy chimed in, as if he had been waiting to get a word in with the new Earl at their blanket. “You work for the Queen, is that right? As her personal Watchdog?” He asked. Another boy made a teasing woof sound, not meant as anything more than a lighthearted joke that earned a delightful eruption of giggles from the others, but not Ciel.  
“I, well- Yes.” The Earl cleared his throat, not exactly offended but still unsure how to respond. 

Alois simply raised an eyebrow at Ciel’s not too subtle comment, amused by his reaction. While he understood that the other Earl hated groups like this, especially one made up of teenagers, he’d dragged him along anyway, wanting nothing more than for his own friends to meet someone he so cared for. It had been weeks of secrecy. He only wanted the company and validation. Alois laughed quietly at the tease his friend had pulled, turning his attention back to his reading.   
“You’re the talk of the town, Phantomhive.” He commented, not looking up as he did so. “He’s like a spy or something. Possibly a murderer.” Alois suggested, looking back to Ciel, playful and teasing. If there were any way to get murdered by Ciel, this would be it.

Ciel shot a glare at Alois, quickly turning it into some poor attempt at a smile. He laughed sarcastically and rolled his shoulders back, checking his posture. “Technicalities..” He cooed teasingly, hoping to spook the boys as punishment for prying. “But in all seriousness, I’ve met murderers. Most of them wouldn’t be having a picnic in the sun.”  
The other boys were quiet for a moment as the joke registered, and they responded once again with delighted laughter. “Wouldn’t that be something?” One chuckled, smiling at the others and at Alois. “No offense, Mr. Phantomhive, but you don’t look scary enough to be a murderer.”  
“Don’t I?” Ciel questioned, raising a brow. “Hm. Perhaps I ought to try harder, then.” And then he smiled- it was a small smile, still very shy and coy, but a smile nonetheless. Never in his life had Ciel had the company of other boys his age, albeit these boys were slightly older. Of course, there was still the secret kept between himself and Alois, but even the two of them had secrets they hadn’t yet shared with one another.  
He spaced off briefly, for a moment remembering his brother. He wondered what they would have done if they reached this age together.  
Shaking the thought away Ciel reached forward to grab a small sandwich slice, shooting Alois a gentle look asking am I doing this right? as he took a bite.

Amused by the attempt to connect with his group, Alois shot Ciel an approving smile, finally bookmarking and closing his book and setting it down in his lap. Taking another sip of his tea, he now held the cup in both hands, keeping his hands warm in the light April breeze.   
“He can be scary sometimes; I’ve seen it.” He chimed in, winking in the boy’s direction,a light chuckle coming from him. “Though I’d love to see him try harder.”   
One of the other boys reached out to grab a slice of a sandwich as well, laughing to himself as he looked up at Trancy, then Phantomhive, and back again. He leaned back into the blanket beneath them, allowing the sun to hit his cheek and warm him. “I’d like to see it too.” He added, curling one hand up into a paw to provoke laughter from the others, “The Dog’s bite-”   
The others burst into laughter, including Alois who shot a glance at Ciel to make sure he was still enjoying himself - A silent thank you. Although unprompted and reluctant, he was glad he could share this kind of moment with him, something so specific to his own lifestyle that not many in his noble sort of circle saw much of. His expression was so filled with love and appreciation and warmth, as he tucked away the moment in his library of memories.

Upon seeing Alois’ gratuitous smile he allowed his own to grow, small dimples appearing on his cheeks, however subtly. Ciel was starting to understand it now, the reason for children running in the streets and young women and men having tea together, all in groups of other their age. After the death of his brother, Ciel only knew the company of adults, besides Lizzie. At fifteen years old, he was spending time with boys his own age for the very first time.  
The group continued tossing jokes at each other, and Ciel gracefully answered any questions about what it was like being such a young businessman, and if he had met the Queen in person. One of the other boys, clearly the biggest troublemaker of the group, cracked a joke that provoked an eruption of boyish laughter from the others just as Ciel was reaching for a second jelly filled treat. An elbow bumped his forearm, causing the treat to smack against his chest with enough force to split it, jam now staining his white shirt underneath his blue day coat.  
“O-Oh, I’m sorry!” The boy who bumped him apologized, reaching for a napkin to hand to Ciel.  
Another boy scolded him, though teasingly. “You’re always the rough-houser. You ought to be more careful!” The moment felt more seriously apologetic now, though there were still giggles left over from the prior laughing fest.  
Ciel tried to brush at the jam with the napkin, sighing softly as he realized it would be stained. “Oh, it’s.. it’s alright..” He reassured the boy beside him, less focused on the cause of the stain and more so on the fact that he now felt he looked ridiculous to any who saw him.

The blonde’s hand clapped over his mouth in shock and holding back his own laughter, though noticing how uncomfortable his partner now was. Normally, he would have found something like it funnier, but when it was Ciel, for some reason he shared the embarrassment. Reaching out, he grabbed the napkin from the other boy, trying to wipe it off himself but having no such luck.   
“We’re going to need to get you another shirt...” He sighed, apologetic. The boy looked up, locking eyes with him and smiling sweetly. “Let’s go back to my dorm. I have plenty of clothing.” He suggested, tossing the napkin to the side and turning back to his group.   
“We’ll do this again, yeah?” He suggested, now stuffing his book into his bag and cleaning up his own spot. “I know he’s our fun new toy, but that doesn’t mean you can break him.” Alois joked, standing up now and brushing off his pants, still in a lighter mood. He snatched up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder and holding out his hand for the smaller Earl to follow him.

The same angelic shade of pink flushed his cheeks as it always did when he became flustered. Ciel took Alois’ hand to stand, though he let go as soon as he was up, still nervous that any of the other boys would soon catch on. He dusted the crumbs from his lap and straightened out any wrinkles in his clothes, clearing his throat nervously.  
“Well it was- it was a pleasure meeting you all.” He said, his tone still a bit shy but surely genuine. These boys were nice, it was just a shame he had only just started to relax around them. “Thank you for the pleasant lunch.” Nodding his head to the boys as he said goodbye, he gathered himself and turned to follow Alois in the direction of his dorm.  
And then it dawned on him: he had never been in a dormitory before. Well, he had once, but it wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience. It was during a murder investigation, so it was easy to say Ciel wasn’t focused on the experience of being in the room and more focused on the corpse lying in a pool of blood.  
He shook the thought from his head then, returning back to the subtle excitement he felt as they made their way towards the dorm. Ciel took a few quicker steps to catch up to Alois, now strolling with him side by side.

Alois was already a few strides ahead, confident that Ciel was following in his own time. As he caught up beside him, the blonde turned his head to address the other. “Rowdy bunch, huh?” He noted, gesturing to Ciel’s outfit, now embedded with jelly. He laughed to himself, focusing now on their path to the dorm, a short but populated one. “I think we’ll fit the same size...” he mused, trying to recall his wardrobe pieces currently at the school that weren’t just his uniform.  
Soon, they were at the door to his dorm, and Alois was pulling it open for the other only to rush ahead of him, quickly making his way up the stairs to the third floor. Alois’ steps were lithe and graceful, quickly making his way to his door. Somewhere around the second platform, he realized that the footsteps behind him had quieted, stopping and turning his head to see the other boy about six or seven steps behind and much slower.

Ciel’s eyes widened slightly as he watched Alois pick up his pace, springing up each step effortlessly and disappear around the corner. He frowned to himself, heat rushing to his face out of frustration this time, as he calmly approached the steps and began to make his way up one by one.  
Hearing Alois’ rushed footsteps stop, Ciel looked up, only just now rounding the corner from the first flight of steps. His gaze locked with Alois’ for a moment before he averted his eyes back to the steps underneath his feet, trying to hide the shame from his face.  
“I.. I need to go slowly..” Ciel admitted reluctantly, the feeling of his physical burden bringing up memories from his past once again.  
When he was just five years old, Ciel Phantomhive developed asthma, while his twin brother didn’t. Due to his affliction and often unpredictable health, he was often kept inside whilst his brother played outside and his family went on outings. Even his brother was placed in fencing lessons, and Ciel would attend each one only to sit on the sidelines and observe. He often overheard whispers, calling him his brother’s spare.  
“I just.. I don’t feel well, that’s all.” Ciel claimed, clearly lying through his teeth. He swallowed hard, still refusing to look at Alois. He felt so weak and ridiculous.

Luckily, Alois was better at picking up on subtleties than he was often given credit for. Stopping to wait for the Earl, he smiled softly and even walked back a few steps to meet the other boy where he was at. He’d seen this once or twice, a weak condition amongst nobles that caused discomfort and sometimes pain. He knew precious little about the medical field, but the concept wasn’t new to him and he connected the dots with the information he currently had.   
He wasn’t sure how to treat a person like this, however, and opted to slow down his pace to be safe. The two of them walked up the steps slowly now, pausing on the second floor platform for him to catch his breath.  
“I’m just up here,” Alois interjected, pointing up the last flight of stairs where his own door was obscured around the corner and down the hall. Making sure Ciel was breathing fine before they went up the last flight, Alois was sure to walk alongside him. He supposed he never really considered how quickly he moved.

Ciel blushed madly with embarrassment, holding on coyly to the other Earl’s arm as they made their way up the next flight of stairs. As they paused, he made sure to take a few calming breaths, checking to make sure he was alright to keep going. The fact that Alois was helping him rather than laughing at him brought him great comfort, but not enough to hide the fact that he was still so deeply ashamed of his affliction.  
As they made it to the third floor with no more stairs to be taken, Ciel took a moment to stand against the wall, not quite leaning but steadying himself as he caught his breath. For just a second he crossed his gaze with Alois’ warm one before averting his eyes. “Not a word to anyone.” He demanded, though the softness of his voice made it sound more like a plea. “..Please, not a word.”

Laughing lightly, he placed a hand on the other’s shoulder, reassuring. “I’ll add it to the secrets.” He responded, walking around him to pull a small key from his pant pocket and unlock the door to his room. The door opened inward with a light creak, revealing the Trancy Earl’s bedroom. The Earl himself made haste, walking to his wardrobe in an attempt to find an article of clothing which would fit the smaller, weaker boy.   
It was a modest dorm, one fit for a studious noble. There was a single bed inside, which gave him some level of privacy throughout the week. The walls were fairly low, but Trancy had made use of them, draping curtains over his bed to create a regal sort of canopy, pulled back and tied at the bedposts. There were several books strewn across his bed, along with a robe and a nightgown, his sense of tidiness gone without his servants though he’d been there for roughly three years now. On the bedside table laid a photograph, taken years prior with his current friends, actually sitting up straight for once. Beside that, was the bluebell from weeks earlier, dried upside down for some period of time and sat now inside the pages of a weathered copy of Romeo and Juliet. The book was opened to a particular line, with the flower settled in the spine.   
“Come, gentle night; come, loving, black-browed night; Give me my Romeo; and, when I shall die, Take him and cut him out in little stars, And he will make the face of heaven so fine That all the world will be in love with night...”

The dark-haired boy followed Alois into his dorm, immediately looking around and taking in his surroundings. It was a decently sized room- a bit on the smaller side but it still seemed to be decorated exactly how he imagined Alois would decorate such a room. As he laid eyes on the bedside table, curiosity got the best of him and he approached it, admiring the picture before he noticed the flower he had given him as a gift lying in a book.  
Ciel picked up the book delicately, as if it were made of glass, and silently read the passage to himself as Alois rummaged through his wardrobe. A warm smile crept onto his lips, and he briefly looked back towards Alois before putting the book back down as he found it.  
“This is a nice room.” He commented, standing still near the table. Decency kept him from prying into Alois’ things any further, though he would be lying if he claimed he wasn’t curious. “Do you stay here throughout the week?”

Alois pulled a dress shirt draped with a deep blue frock coat from his wardrobe, holding it up to the window to examine it. It was knee-length on him, similar in color to what his partner was already wearing, and dripped with black lace on the bell-shaped sleeves. The buttons were far flashier than Ciel normally wore, sapphires embedded into them, but the black dress shirt underneath made up for its flamboyancy. He walked over, laying the set gracefully on the bed - atop the books.   
“I do,” he answered, his tone light and joyful. He felt so at ease whenever it was just the two of them alone. “There are some decorating rules, but... I try to surround myself with things I enjoy at least.” He added, walking to the door and shutting it for more privacy. “Though I suppose my literature gets out of hand.” He admitted, chuckling to himself and gesturing to a full bookshelf that had been hidden behind the door prior. The books all had something in common - worn spines and expensive trims.

“You have quite the collection,” Ciel noted, scanning his eyes over the bookshelf. It looked as if one more book would have the wood splitting. He smiled to himself warmly, the single bookshelf reminding himself of his own library in his manor. “I have a collection of my own, not that you’d enjoy many of the books in it.” He scoffed, recalling just how many of his books were oriented around history, mystery, and tragedy. Any that came from any other genre were likely high on a shelf and coated with a layer of dust.  
He turned back towards the bed, admiring the clothing Alois had laid out for him and running his fingers across the fabric. It was lovely and far too flashy for a simple wardrobe change, but it likely smelled like him. Ciel paused then as he instinctively reached up to remove his jacket, remembering the other in the room.  
He was being dramatic- Alois was just another boy, and a boy his own age no less. There wasn’t anything to be embarrassed about. Well, other than the fact that Alois wasn’t just another boy. Not to him.  
Ciel cleared his throat as he looked over his shoulder, his cheeks turning pink. “...Should I-?” He began, gesturing to the shirt on the bed with one hand still on his own coat. 

He smiled, leaning against the door nonchalantly. “Go ahead.” He prompted, only realizing why after the other boy was so uncomfortable. “Oh- I can turn around... if you want?” He suggested, turning bright pink and placing a hand on the back of his neck nervously.   
Alois hadn’t thought about this part of their romance. While they were socially capable of being alone together, this caused a lot more awkward situations than it would with a girl. It was freedom and a torture at the same time, directly causing this kind of situation. He sighed, turning and walking to a corner of his room that nested a small, plush chair he’d almost definitely brought in himself. He nestled into the velvet, closing his eyes in an almost childish sort of way.

“Y-Yes, that would be nice, if you don’t mind..” Ciel had replied, letting a small, uncomfortable breath escape him.  
He stood exactly as he was, as if frozen, as he watched Alois walk over to the chair in the corner and sit down facing away from him, closing his eyes. Once he was sure he wasn’t watching, Ciel turned his back towards the other boy and slipped off his daycoat. A breath that he hadn’t realized he had been holding escaped him quietly.  
It was difficult to ignore the harsh beating of his heart in his chest, or the clamminess of his palms, though Ciel did his best to ignore it. The room was awfully quiet as he undid his shirt buttons one by one, the fabric falling over his shoulders as it loosened.  
“Thank you, again,” Ciel said quietly, breaking the thick silence. “..For lending me your shirt, I mean.” With his shirt now off Ciel rubbed his thumb over the stain on the front, thinking to himself that he likely wouldn’t be able to get it out.

Flipping his legs over the arm of the chair, Alois reopened his eyes, looking up at the ceiling now instead. “It’s no issue.” he replied, leaning his head back into the opposite arm of the seat. “They’re really quite a polite bunch in the right circumstances.” He added, smiling to himself.   
It had been three years so far with his current friends. Someone like him had never had anything like them in his life before, meeting in homeroom during their very first lesson and getting to know them ever since. They knew nothing of his identity or his past, but didn’t judge him for the one he acted as despite all that. They were kind people unlike himself, always making certain Alois felt included and cared for. They even brought him snacks and tea when he got sick, something he was never really sure how normal people who’d always had friends reacted to. Over the years, he’d grown less angry and stiff around them, allowing himself to relax for the first time since he was born.  
Alois put his hand to the ceiling above him, examining the water spots on the ceiling itself and the freckles on his fingers in boredom. “I hope the shirt is adequate. I know I’m... well, bigger than you.” He added, trying his best not to offend Ciel in the process. “From an objective perspective, y’know.”

Ciel snickered to himself at Alois’ comment, beginning to button up the new shirt. “I’m only barely smaller than you,” He protested playfully, looking at the other boy over his shoulder though he knew he wouldn’t see him.  
As he fastened the last button at his collar he turned back around; seeing as he was clothed now, he didn’t mind Alois turning back around. “You can look now,” He said, hoping he looked decent in the slightly oversized shirt. Picking up his coat and beginning to put it back on, he thought to himself for a moment before speaking, focusing his attention on his reflection in the mirror. “...Your friends are nice.” Ciel noted, straightening out his coat and then moving to adjust his eye patch. “That was.. Well, that was my first time being with other boys my age, believe it or not. At least, the first time in a long time. It was nice.” He looked at Alois in the mirror, as if the glass served as a barrier to spare him some mild embarrassment. “...Thank you, for inviting me.”

He picked his head back up, turning to look towards the other in the mirror with a warm expression. It was oddly soothing to see his clothing on another person he cared for; it was almost as if he felt he could protect him in this manner. The fabric draped slightly off his shoulders and a little around the collar, just barely too big but still passable as his own clothing. Too bad. If it weren’t for the fear of being found out, he’d want everyone to know they were sharing clothing.   
“That’s surprising, Phantomhive.” He admitted, tone genuinely curious. “I mean, I know there aren’t many nobles our age, but-” Alois paused, remembering the things his friends had told him a while back. He’d had a twin, once. The situation reminded him too much of his own late brother and brought curiosity to the surface. Alois bit his lip, unsure if he should broach the subject. I had a brother once. No, too forward. And it would make it too easy to look him up. The blond forced a smile, hiding still so many parts of himself.   
“You look lovely.” He stated, pushing away from the subject.

Ciel paused then, staring at his own hands in the mirror. The energy in the room seemed to change suddenly, both boys sensing the looming presence of something neither of them wanted to discuss.  
“...There was something one of your friends said to me today. Something I’m not sure you heard.” Ciel spoke up, his demeanor changing. Like Alois had a knack for lying, Ciel had a knack for intimidation, even when he didn’t intend it. He let his statement rest with Alois for a moment as he straightened out the collar of his coat and fixed his hair, then stopping just to stare at himself in the mirror. “I can only assume they’ve done their research on me. And well, seeing as they’re your friends, I also have to assume they’ve told you about what they’ve learned.” He looked up, his seeing eye meeting Alois’ gaze.  
He didn’t seem angry. Really, he had no reason to be. He just seemed...tense. Like there was a part of him itching to know what Alois knew about him already, when he himself still had much to learn about Alois.  
“I just want to know what you know.” Ciel spoke up again, this time in a more gentle tone as he turned to face Alois.

His eyes widened in shock, slowly rising to meet Ciel’s. The tension could be cut with a knife, feeling as though he’d stepped into something he really shouldn’t have. Admitting his friends had to tell him about it admitted ignorance in the first place, and the phantomhive name was not an obscure one amongst the wealthy, of which he had only recently become. He had to tread lightly.   
“Well, I wasn’t... around when it happened.” He admitted, knowing that his identity’s disappearance was at least not false. “I... know about the fire. I know you had a brother. And I know you’re the only surviving member of your family from that event.” He said, flipping his legs back over and sitting up straight to face Ciel. “And I know what that’s like.”

A light weight was lifted from Ciel’s shoulders, allowing him to breathe a bit more comfortably than before, but not by much. He stared at Alois for a few moments that felt like hours, searching his face for any sign of deception. From what he could tell, Alois was telling him the truth.  
Ciel looked down towards the floor, his hair falling messily across his forehead and in front of his eyes. “...Was there anything about before then?” He asked, the tone of his voice falling somewhere between defensive and defeated, as if he was reliving a memory in his own head. “Anything from before the fire, I mean..” It was clear he was hiding something.  
Despite being such a young child, Ciel Phantomhive did whatever he could to cover up what happened to him and his brother. He hid it all; he burned it and buried it and swore to put an end to any whisper of a rumor he heard- and it had worked, as far as he was aware. The public knew that Ciel Phantomhive’s family was killed in a house fire, and that he was the sole survivor of the noble family. Ever since then, Ciel swore he would take these secrets with him to his grave, but that was before he met Alois Trancy.

“There wasn’t.” The boy answered, fidgeting with his sleeve. “Whatever you’re hiding, I don’t know it and neither do they.”   
Alois sighed, wondering if keeping all these secrets was even worth it. He had something he could relate to someone he cared for, something deep and raw, but it wasn’t an experience his persona had. His persona hadn’t even existed until recently, being the only surviving Trancy head who had disappeared years ago, presumed dead. In reality, was dead. Trancy looked up, a glint of his true self in his sky blue eyes.   
“I had a brother, too.” He added as a silence filled the room. Alois hoped somewhere in his mind that Ciel perhaps didn’t know enough about the Trancy household to catch the truth in his web of lies. He’d always been one to edge too close to the truth until he had to back away, wondering just how much everyone knew. “That’s what I’m hiding.”

Ciel’s eyes widened then, his gaze snapping back up to look at the other boy across the room. The silence surrounding them was thick and loud, but Alois’ admission felt like a step towards something more comforting. Ciel wondered to himself if Alois felt better having shared his secret. He wondered if he would feel better, too.  
The thought crossed Ciel’s mind to comment- to pry deeper and learn more about Alois’ brother. What was his name? What happened to him? Why did you keep him a secret? But as he analyzed Alois sitting in that chair in the corner, feeling the cloud of nervousness and anxiety that surrounded him, he thought it would be best not to. Instead, he would match him, make his next move- like a game of chess.  
Chess was something Ciel could handle.  
“...My family didn’t die in the house fire.” Ciel admitted flatly, as if rushing to get the words out.  
He found them. Both of his parents and his dog, dead in the hallway of the Phantomhive manor. He tried to run- he tried to escape whoever was there with such deadly intentions. Someone grabbed him, holding him so tight he thought he might be crushed, and everything went black. Before he knew it, he and his brother were-  
“They died before then. Someone killed them.” Ciel ran his hand over his forehead, as if trying to rub the memory of that night from his mind.

As if just not realizing that they were both digging below the surface, Alois leaned his elbows on his thighs, bringing his hands together and his fingers to his lips. The information was growing heavier with their admissions, and the strategy thicker. He had to be sure not to divulge everything, but key pieces of information were secrets enough.   
And yet, here was the only person he’d ever cared to tell, breaking down walls right in front of him. Part of him wanted to rush up and hold him, but he was more composed than he normally let on. He wasn’t sure how to react to someone being so honest with him; normally, it was merely a game of lies and burying the truth until the other left him alone. Instead, he raised his eyes to Ciel’s face, his facade cracking.   
“I hadn’t known that part.” He mumbled, visibly moved for the first time in front of the other. “So you have seen evil.” Alois paused, reaching out a hand to Ciel as if he could only understand closeness physically and his brain was doing leaps to try and make sense of it. He sighed, his thoughts aware of where his lover’s mind must be going but careful to only divulge so much. “In the period I was... away, the village I lived in burnt down. But my brother... he was gone before the fire could take him. He was only five.” Alois paused, looking out the window in the intensity of his emotions. “I’ve found only true evil kills children like that. Breaks up family.”

Ciel crossed the room to Alois, taking his hand as if he had been waiting to since they started talking. The two Earl’s had more in common than they thought, including their reluctance to discuss their pasts, let alone their feelings about their pasts. This was a new chapter for both of them, one that required each of them to venture into new territory that had no walls- or at least, fewer walls.  
“..I’m sorry.” Ciel spoke softly, acknowledging Alois’ painful secret. “You must have loved him very much.”  
It was his turn now.  
Ciel swallowed, not realizing he had begun to squeeze Alois’ hand. The emotion and discomfort didn’t show on his face- he couldn’t let it, or he might break. But he had to share something now, just one more move towards transparency. “..I found them. My parents.” He began, feeling his chest tighten as images from that night so long ago flashing in his mind. “The people who killed them.. They took me, and my brother..”  
The words kept pouring out of Ciel’s mouth, as if he was reliving the night in that moment and couldn’t stop the film.  
“...They sold us.” Ciel stopped himself then, realizing how far he had gone by mistake. He dropped Alois' hand and turned away, taking a deep breath as his chest grew tighter.

Alois’ eyes shifted back, feeling his hand fall back to his own lap suddenly. It was another similarity they shared. In fact, one which some of his false family had likely been involved in. The human trafficking network of London wasn’t a large one, but was an extremely powerful one, made up of many powerful people who would never let on too much regarding it.   
Suddenly, he became frustrated with himself for not having done more, or earlier. Alois had only killed one man of many, freed dozens of boys rather than the hundreds he knew were still living his old life. If only he had been strong enough or powerful enough to go back to that world, to somehow free more, to have saved Ciel, to have saved both brothers-  
“I know what that’s like, too.” He admitted begrudgingly, unknowingly balling his hand into a fist. “I was... just as young as those other boys my father took. No, I-” he paused, burying his face in his hands to hide from Ciel as much as possible. “He wasn’t my father. He was my captor, Phantomhive. I found out he had a son who died years ago, and I...” Alois lingered on the admission, heat rising to his face along with tears which threatened to break the surface. “This fact stays here.”

Ciel’s head snapped back towards Alois, his eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. While neither of them were intending on besting the other with their tragic stories, Ciel certainly wasn’t expecting the revealing of a secret like that.  
“..You aren’t...the heir..” Ciel muttered quietly, as if to himself. For a moment, Ciel had become completely unpredictable to Alois- with his face hidden in his hands, he had no clue if Ciel was preparing to recoil in disgust, or run away, or some other horrible thing he expected to come.  
Gently, Ciel placed his hand on the side of Alois’ head, cupping his cheek over his own hand. “...I’m impressed.” He admitted, a small smirk crossing his lips as the tension between the two of them began to thin out. Something about Alois’ falsified identity gave him a rush- the idea of that vile, sick evil man having no say in who took over everything he owned: his estate, his wealth and riches, his name. Nothing in this world was more disgusting to Ciel than evil. “I’m sure that vile man turns in his grave each time someone says your name, Alois Trancy.”  
There was still so much he hadn’t shared, so much of his own vengeance that had yet to be revealed. But a secret such as this, such as Alois’ identity- if he wasn’t completely infatuated with him before, he certainly was now, and with a new kind of respect. 

Lifting his hands from his face, he turned to look at his lover, now focused on him. In his face, there wasn’t an ounce of disgust or repulsion, but admiration and almost a kind of lust. The blonde laughed once, nervous, tears breaking the surface and rolling down his cheek on their own accord. The tension was gone and he knew in that moment, he was safe.   
“I hope so.” He whispered, a hint of malice in his words when he spoke of the Old Man, but now more obvious knowing he didn’t have to pretend to admire the man in any way. “I was his favorite. The bloke died in shock and I let everyone go. It’s exactly how it should be. If I were his son, I would want the same, spend all his money as I please.” He laughed, bringing a hand to his face to wipe away the tears that fell in reaction to the memory. “Though... you do have to live with the fact that you kissed a run-of-the-mill peasant boy.” He added in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Whatever Ciel was focused on before had lost his attention now, the only thing on his mind being Alois Trancy, an imposter. Just the thought of it made him want to break into the biggest grin anyone had ever seen. This boy- this perfect boy in front of him- was everything he could imagine wanting. He was kind and warm and made him feel safe. He was playful and teasing, and got a kick out of making Ciel blush. He was vengeful and gave those who were truly evil exactly what they deserved.  
In that moment, a sudden rush of confidence overcame Ciel. He leaned down, cupping his hands around each of Alois’ cheeks and pulling his face forward just enough to connect their lips in a kiss. It wasn’t gentle, nor was it passionate, but it was hard and excited and relieved.  
Leaning away, only far enough so the two of them could see each other, Ciel smirked darkly. “I don’t see a peasant boy,” He said smugly. “I see a successful Earl who took what he knew he deserved as soon as he got the chance..”

Alois blinked in surprise, truly taken aback by this new side of his lover he’d found. While he took pride in his methods, he couldn’t say the same for the majority of society surrounding him. For years, he’d brushed rumors of his captor off his shoulder with phrases like “it’s what he could have wanted,” or “my father was a well-respected man.” The true Alois even knew none of that was true, he was certain. The other boys knew that wasn’t true. It felt like an insult to his accomplishment every time he had to praise the man.   
For Ciel Phantomhive to know this and accept it, it felt like the world’s biggest compliment and an odd twist of fate. He now knew why whatever God had been toying with them must have wanted this as an outcome. Said God must have known that their nature intertwined in such a way that was once-in-a-lifetime. Neither had any reason to lie. It felt like coming home. His heart was beating a million miles an hour, having never felt this kind of acceptance in his life.   
“Some people are noble by blood, and some by skill.” Alois responded, not taking his eyes off the other, a sadistic smile making its way onto his face. “Consider me the latter, and allow everyone else to consider me the former just as I do.”

Ciel’s thumbs gently ran back and forth over the apples of Alois’ cheeks, just underneath the soft skin under his eyes. He was noble, incredibly noble and skilled and smart and handsome and all of the best parts of this horribly broken world. The smile on Ciel’s face faltered slightly, as he remembered he hadn’t yet finished telling his own story. He silently wished there was a way to pour the knowledge into Alois’ mind in such a way that Ciel wouldn’t have to say the words aloud.  
Pulling his hands away from Alois’ cheeks, he placed them on his shoulders, looking down at him with seriousness in his eyes. “Come to my estate this weekend, for dinner.” He offered, though it sounded more like a demand. “I’ll tell you everything, Alois Trancy. Just as you’ve told me everything.”  
Ciel knew to some extent that Alois likely hadn’t told him every detail of his past, but he had told him enough for now. They had both done something amazing on this afternoon in spring, in a little dorm room on a grand college campus all because Ciel got jelly on the front of his shirt- they had begun tearing down their own walls. Alois was ahead of him now, and it was Ciel’s move next.

The blonde nodded, excited at the prospect of getting to know the other Earl better. For real this time - no sugar coating. "Absolutely.” He responded, never having been this sure of anything Phantomhive threw his direction. Things felt different without as many walls between them, allowing for a deeper intimacy. His constant pursuit, though it had been fruitful so far, now felt needless. This was exactly where he was meant to end up.   
Alois leaned in for another, deeper kiss as the breeze fluttered the curtains of his open window and the pages of his open books, scattered as if he’d been searching for an answer. In a cruel irony, he’d found that answer in a person - not a book.

The two Earl’s would have spent longer together, if it weren’t for some pressing business matters awaiting Ciel Phantomhive back at his manor. They walked to Ciel’s carriage together, sharing a few hopeful and honest whispers about when they would next see each other. They couldn’t touch- no hugging or holding hands or kissing- but the two boys had learned to read each other’s facial expressions well enough now that it was practically all they needed to communicate around others. Ciel bid Alois goodbye, reminding him again that he would be expecting him on Saturday for dinner.  
As the carriage pulled away, Ciel and Alois were also pulled back into their respective worlds and roles, though it all seemed to feel foreign after sharing such an intimate moment with one another. There was a comfort to it, though; they both now knew that they were safe with one another.


	6. Chapter 6

The Saturday to come looked like the epitome of Spring, with all of the flowers in the garden and surrounding the Phantomhive manor in full bloom. Even the bluebells that grew in clusters outside the study window were vibrant and striking, so much so that they could be seen from the entry to the estate.  
Ciel had worked hard over the past couple of days, making sure he was far ahead enough with his work that he could spend this day doing as he pleased. The servants rushed around the manor, cleaning and organizing and decorating to his liking, being sure that everything was perfectly modest for the coming evening. The Earl even checked the menu for the dinner, rather careless about it himself but wanting to be sure his guest would enjoy it.  
As the sun began its descent, Ciel found himself in his bedroom getting ready with the help of a servant to dress him. For the occasion he sported a red velvet ensemble, complete with a black dress shirt and matching pants and coat, with the cuffs and trim decorated in delicate black lace. He looked truly elegant, everything about his appearance showing off his wealth and status. The boy wore two rings, one on his left hand and one on his right. The one on his left thumb was an ornate silver piece that held an emerald-cut deep-blue sapphire- a one-of-a-kind family heirloom. The one on his right hand was a gold signet ring in the form of the Phantomhive crest.  
A gentle knock on the door caught his attention just then. “Come in.” He replied, turning his focus to the door as he fussed with his clothing.  
Meyrin, the estate’s maid coyly opened the door, bowing slightly as she poked her head inside. “I-I believe our guest has arrived, young master.” She said with a smile.  
Ciel cleared his throat, suppressing a smile that wished to make an appearance on his lips. “Well then,” He said, turning towards her as he was finally satisfied with his appearance. “We should meet them at the door, don’t you think?”

Alois had waited rather impatiently for this day, despite it having only been a couple full days since they’d last seen one another. If it had been difficult to wait through the weeks before, it absolutely was now. The boy had no one else to be his authentic self with, to truly be known and understood with, and the feeling was a sort of high he chased.   
He’d been sure to dress up for the occasion, wearing a more modern suit than he would normally go for. The color was a muted purple, the color of royalty, with a hem that ended at his hips and trousers that ended at his ankles and were tailored to perfection. There was an air of regality and class to him for this evening as he stepped up to the Phantomhive manor, the behemoth of manors. He looked around, equally overwhelmed and excited by the place, never having left his childish state of wonder at this kind of life even as he himself lived the same one.

As Alois approached the large front door to the manor, it opened, as if someone were waiting there for just the right moment. As the doors opened, he could see Ciel who had just reached the bottom of the grand staircase in the center of the foyer, looking as regal and elegant as ever. A series of servants stood adjacent to the door, backs straight and heads bowed to make for a respectful welcome for their guest.  
“Trancy,” Ciel said quite casually, though the corners of his lips had curled upwards into a small smile. Looking at the boy in the doorway he could hardly contain his happiness, or the relief he felt to see him again. He looked him up and down, admiring his choice in attire- he looked so handsome in purple. “Welcome to Phantomhive Manor. I hope your ride here wasn’t too long.”

Smiling casually, he strode into the manor, feeling as if he were trespassing into a lifestyle that he didn’t quite belong in. Alois straightened his back, trying to act the part. It was so easy amongst those who suspected nothing, but with the other who knew his secret it was suddenly difficult to settle into his persona. Something about his company made him feel real. He pushed a hand through his hair, adjusting it from the breeze outside.   
“I actually live quite close.” He responded, genuine surprise in his voice that he’d achieved this same level of opulence. So often, it didn’t even feel real. “My manor is only a few minutes away itself.”

“Is it?” Ciel responded as he approached Alois, stopping in front of him. “Isn’t that convenient. I rarely have guests- perhaps I’ll call on you more often.” He spoke so casually, though there was excitement behind his words. Truthfully, Ciel hated having guests. He couldn’t stand all of the preparation and fussing about to make everything perfect- or perhaps it was just that he never had any guests whom he actually liked.  
The Earl smiled, turning and gesturing for his guest to follow him. They walked shoulder to shoulder towards the dining room, which could just barely be seen from where they were; it was illuminated by a lovely chandelier, making it look as if it were glowing. “...Relax.” Ciel suddenly said in a hushed voice, his upper arm grazing against Alois’. He could sense his discomfort as a result of others being near, despite them being servants. “My servants are loyal,” He continued. “They wouldn’t speak a word against either of us if they know what’s good for them.”

Alois took a deep breath upon the comment, realizing that he had in fact been holding it. While the others surrounding them were terrifying indeed, it was more of a feeling of inadequacy that gripped him in the current moment. For someone with such a massive ego as himself, the realization was an obnoxious one.   
“Well, that’s reassuring.” He mumbled, half-sarcastic. Alois took another breath, dusting the wrinkles from his coat and shifting away, not wanting to be touched while his nerves were this high. “Sorry, I just... forget sometimes. When I’m with the upper-crust, it’s usually under false pretenses.” He smiled slightly, wandering towards the extravagant table before them and plucking a rose from a vase at the setting. “I’ve never really let my guard down.”

Ciel sat down at the table, his chair being pulled out and pushed back in by a servant who then circled around to Alois to do the same for him. Breaking his formal facade Ciel leaned forward on the table slightly, leaning his chin in his palm as he watched Alois admire the rose. “That’s understandable.” He commented, trailing his gaze over the other boy, admiring him as well. “Society can be cruel. People look down upon others with secrets and demonize them, as if they don’t have secrets themselves..” He grumbled, his cheek squished against his hand as he leaned harder. Ciel only had a handful of people whom he trusted, and even then he didn’t trust them fully. Alois was the first to make him feel like he didn’t need to hide.  
Despite being elated to have Alois in his home, there was still the looming reality that hovered over Ciel like a storm cloud, anticipating. Ciel promised he would tell Alois everything. The thought terrified him enough to make him feel sick. He clung desperately to the hope that everything would feel better once he had.

“I’m sure almost every one of those rich blokes has one big secret that would destroy them.” He retorted, placing the flower on the table in front of him gently and shrugging off his coat to place it on the back of his chair. He pursed his lips, looking behind him suspiciously at the various servants. “I’ll bet they even have a few.” It was an offhand comment, but provoked a bit of discomfort from Mey-Rin in particular.   
“Although,” He began, slouching in his seat to look over at Ciel with wide eyes. “I do believe you invited me here for yours.”

Ciel met his gaze, his eyes narrowing slightly before he looked away in the direction of the kitchen. “After dinner.” He stated flatly, determined to avoid the subject for as long as he could. “Let’s enjoy a nice dinner, shall we?” Ciel made no attempt to change the subject gracefully, knowing that Alois expected something from him and likely wouldn’t give up until he heard what he wanted. But at least, if only for an hour, they could enjoy each other’s company over a nice dinner.  
The dinner served that evening was roasted pork with a side of broiled vegetables and potatoes, accompanied by a half glass of aged Italian wine. It was quite the spread for two young boys, but fitting for such a regal estate. The two of them ate pleasantly together, making some small talk and asking about each other’s activities since they were last together. Alois would occasionally make some remark alluding to the discussion yet to come, and Ciel would swiftly ignore it, either changing the subject or responding as if he hadn’t caught the comment.  
As their plates were cleared and their bellies were filled, it became a good time to retire to the drawing room, just to the left of the dining room through a single hallway. Ciel commented to his servants, requesting they clean up and not disturb them unless called upon. With nothing but a shared look between the two of them Ciel rose from his seat and made his way to the drawing room, expecting Alois to follow.  
Every step he took made his legs feel wobbly and his palms feel clammy. Deep down, he knew he had nothing to fear in regards to Alois. Instead, he feared having to relive the memories of his past aloud, something he hadn’t done since the night his life changed.

Now thoroughly annoyed by Ciel’s consistent dismissal, Alois walked with him to the drawing room, arms crossed. He was not one for wasting time, and certainly not when it came to something so serious. Alois lived for the drama of it all, savoring the liveliest moments on his tongue for later. This was drab and taxing, though he did enjoy the fact that they were alone again and this time had no fear of interference. That at least kept him entertained.   
The hallway was long and open, lined with windows on the side facing the back garden and pricked on the other with artworks which he wondered if Ciel had any attachment to. The blonde recognized a few of them, large pieces that once decorated the Louvre in France. He even noticed a Venus, an odd choice for one as modest as the Phantomhive head but likely a choice made for his braggadocious nature. The idea of his first sight of that vulgar thing made him smile out of the corner of his mouth, ever slightly amused.

The drawing room was vast and the ceiling appeared as if it just kept going. Each wall was lined with full length bookshelves and stacked end to end with books of all shapes and sizes. On one wall was a large fireplace that warmed the whole room and cast a golden light over everything in it, the flickering flames making the shadows dance across the room. It was dark outside now, and the stars struggled to appear from behind the clouds in the sky.  
As they entered the drawing room Ciel strolled across to one of the two enormous windows facing the front of the manor, where a lovely complete chess set sat on a table, accompanied by two chairs. “Fancy a game?” Ciel inquired, knowing full well he wouldn’t be able to avoid the coming discussion but he’d be damned if he didn’t try.  
As he leaned on the back of one chair he noticed the other wasn’t empty. One of his toys sat in the seat: a small, stuffed black rabbit with red beaded eyes and a green plaid coat on. Ciel often played chess alone, and tended to bring one of his toy rabbits along as company. Realizing just how childish it looked his face flushed beet red, and he moved swiftly to grab the rabbit from the seat and tuck it behind his back, standing straight and hoping Alois hadn’t seen anything.

However, Alois had in fact noticed the rabbit just in time, emerging in the room from behind his partner. Roused from his bad mood, he let out a loud laugh and doubled over, hands on his knees. The sight of something so childish was so completely unexpected that he was taken off guard by it. From a Venus to a Funtom rabbit - the parallels were maddening. It was as if he chose when to be a child or not.   
“Isn’t that-” He choked through laughter, pulling himself from his fit and looking up at the other, “Isn’t that a Funtom? Like, your own company?” He spat, standing straight up and wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. “You really are too much, Phantomhive!”

Ciel’s eyes widened before his face contorted into a humiliated glare. The rosy redness of his cheeks had spread to the tips of his ears and down his neck. That maid of his could be so useless- he told her to clean everything.  
“I-It’s not as if I-I play with it!” He shouted, frustrated and clearly searching for a way to defend himself. The thought crossed his mind to throw the rabbit as he clasped it tightly in his hand, though as he looked at it, he couldn’t bring himself to. He gently rested it on the window sill, making sure it sat upright before turning back towards his guest, who was still laughing at him. “I-It’s just a model! One of the first, and I-I kept it for memory’s sake!”  
Seeing as he likely would never live this down, he childishly stomped over to one of the two cushioned chairs in front of the fireplace, plopping himself down into the seat and leaning his chin into his palm. He was sulking, admittedly so.

“Oh, come on now...” He eased, walking over to where Ciel had placed the rabbit in the windowsill, plucking it from its spot. Alois fixed his hair as well, composing himself from his fit of laughter. He was still smiling brightly, holding it up in the air like he would hold a child. He brought it to his chest, laughing again, but this time warmer, walking to where Ciel had slumped in his chair.   
“It’s just not what I expected.” He explained, still holding the toy close. “My brother and I always wanted one of these when we were boys. ‘Course, no one nearby ever got one.” He chuckled once more, holding the rabbit outwards so he could examine it again - the ears, the body, the suit, everything about it resembled the heir and yet, represented his childhood. They were more closely tied by fate than he imagined. “I’m the first one from my town to ever hold one...”

The sulking Earl’s scowl softened, looking towards Alois out of the corner of his eye. He adjusted himself in his seat uncomfortably, trying to take Alois’ words to heart and understand he wasn’t mocking him for his childish things. He thought for a moment as he subconsciously spun his family ring around his thumb.  
“...You can have it,” Ciel mumbled quietly, still grumpy from having to endure the other’s laughing fit. But as he thought about it, he remembered just how many stuffed rabbits he had- Alois wouldn’t be allowed to step foot into his bedroom or study until Ciel himself inspected them for any stuffed toy rabbits- he could spare one. “If you want it, I mean..”  
-  
The blonde gasped genuinely, pulling the toy in towards his chest and hugging it tightly. “Really?” He exclaimed, a large smile on his face. “I’ll keep it on my bed! That way, I’ll always have you close-” He stopped, catching his words. His face heated immediately, eyes sinking to the floor “I-I mean...”   
Alois sighed, embarrassed as well. He walked away towards the opposite chair from the Earl, plopping himself sideways in it but never letting go of the stuffed toy. He brought it to his face, hiding his nose and mouth against its soft fur. “You called me here for a reason, Ciel. So would you please tell me what you’re on about?”

Ciel couldn't help but look towards Alois as he heard the comment, his still sulking face unwillingly turning into a rather confident smirk. He kept his eyes on him a moment longer, admiring the sight of Alois’ snuggling the rabbit so close to him. Ciel often did the same thing- even if he wasn’t holding one close, there always seemed to be one nearby, just within arms reach, in case he needed it. The young Earl so rarely got the chance to be childish. He thought he didn’t need to be- he believed there were more important things to focus on as the heir to his family name- but his subconscious craved childish things to bring him comfort.  
As Alois changed the subject, Ciel’s stomach dropped, and he looked away from the other and into the fire. The heat dried his eyes and made the tip of his nose feel warm, but the way the flames danced gave him something else to focus on. Taking a deep breath, Ciel adjusted himself in his seat once more, sitting with his back straight against the back of the cushioned chair and his legs crossed.  
“...You shared things with me, that day in your dormitory? Incredibly personal things. Hell, you told me the truth of your entire past and you still don’t know mine.” Ciel chuckled defeatedly, the approaching despair of what he knew he needed to say beginning to swallow him. His throat felt thick. “..It isn’t that I don’t trust you, Trancy. You trust me, and that’s plenty of reason alone for me to trust you.” Ciel then just barely turned his head towards Alois, unable to look him in the eye. “These memories... I haven’t thought about them in years. I-.. I don’t know how to talk about them..”

The taller boy sighed, kicking his legs in impatience at the stalling. Hell, Ciel had been doing this all week - first at the dorm, then again during dinner, and again just now. It wasn’t that he wasn’t understanding; it was the opposite. Though, anything that wasted his time grated on his patience to a high degree. At least he had the rabbit to keep him grounded.   
“C'est tellement frustrant, petit lapin.” He mumbled, holding up the toy and now speaking to it in French as if it hid his annoyance at all. It was his new best friend, learning all his secret grievances. Alois pursed his lips, looking over to the other boy.   
“So start with one. We can go from there.” He suggested, tilting his head for a response. Alois looked into the fire as well, distant. If their pasts were so similar, it must be easier than living with that pain. At least, that’s how things were for him.

Ciel glared into the fire, though it was directed at Alois’ impatience, and chewed on the inside of his lip. He searched silently for the words to begin, unsure of where he should start. As the Earl took a deep breath, he folded his hands in front of him, his elbows propped up on the arms of the chair. There was no better place to start than the beginning.  
“...I told you my parents didn’t die in the house fire. They died before then, and I found them. My brother and I were kidnapped. We-” Ciel’s voice cracked. He brought his fingers up to his mouth, still folded. He couldn’t falter this early in the story.  
And so, Ciel told Alois everything. He told him that he and his twin were kidnapped after their parents were murdered in cold blood, and they were sold. He told him that the man who purchased them was a leader in a cult, one that was active in the deep underbelly of England, where evil tended to dwell. He told him what the men in cloaks did to them- how they grabbed them and touched them and ruined their bodies, whispering to them that it was their purpose to be sacrificed this way. Two lovely, pure twin boys- sacrifices. He told him how he was caged as they tore his brother from his arms, how they held him down to a stone table and sliced him from his chest to his belly.  
The further Ciel got into the memories, the more he began to get lost in them. His hands were shaking now, clutching each other hard enough that his pale knuckles were turning white. Tears beaded at the corners of his eyes, but he didn’t notice. Ciel was lost, completely, in the memory of that night.  
He told him how he managed to escape unnoticed, and burned the men alive in their sanctuary. He told him how he sat in the grass, dirty and hungry and cold and alone, watching the building go up in roaring flames that cast light across the terrain.  
He stopped then, his chest visibly rising and falling and his breathing becoming ragged. Ciel dropped his hands to the arms of the chair, clutching the fabric and digging his nails into it, as the tears began to fall from his eyes. 

Alois fell silent for the first time that whole evening, hanging on to every word. Holding the rabbit tightly to his chest, he kept his eyes fixed on Ciel’s, wide and awaiting. He watched the tears forming in his eyes, unbeknownst to himself. He saw how he shook. Alois started to feel bad for having pushed him all night, knowing that Ciel wasn’t the type to break walls easily. He looked down to the floor, then back up.   
“Ciel, I-” He uttered, wanting to shoot up out of his seat to hold him or something, or anything. Love was sometimes such a cruel, tortuous thing, he was beginning to learn now.

Ciel ran his fingers through his hair, gripping hold of his hair roughly as he silently prayed the shaking would stop. He was breaking, he could feel it. “I-I’m not..” He whispered, his voice quivering as his emotions began to overflow. “I-I’m not HIM!” He screamed suddenly as he moved to stand, but his legs buckled and he fell forward on all fours. “I’M NOT CIEL! HE WAS! HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CIEL, NOT ME!” His fist pounded against the wood floor, the images of his brother’s face blinding him. His brother’s dead face. His own face.  
There was a silent rule Ciel followed in his daily life. There was only a certain amount of time he could look at his own reflection- long enough for something simple, such as fixing his hair or straightening his coat, but not a moment longer. The longer he stared, the more he would begin to see his brother’s face and less of his own. The memory of his brother lived in the worst place possible: his own face.  
Ciel rocked back, leaning with his back against the bottom of the chair as his knees instinctively drew themselves towards his chest. He stared wide-eyed into the fire, tears still falling, though silent now. “..N..Not me... It wasn’t...supposed to be me..”

Alois shot up from his seat, unsure how to react but reacting only on instinct. He could feel tears building in his own throat but he could not let them fall. He had to comfort somehow, he had to do something. Stumbling onto the floor, he held the rabbit now in only one hand, crawling towards his partner. Silently, once he had an ounce of his attention, he handed the other the rabbit, a childlike expression of care. Alois was normally the one to react in this way; he didn’t know Ciel- no, Phantomhive- could ever feel this kind of panic.   
Remaining on his hands and knees, he attempted to make himself at least somewhat comfortable but kept his distance. He knew how he was in these kinds of moods. Alois had done horrible things in reaction to it - he’d injured his staff once or twice, he’d thrown his documents in the fire, he’d destroyed his entire garden when the color of his flowers were wrong and he was feeling off that day. Though, he did try to snag a moment of the other’s attention, if anything at all.   
“So I’ll call you something else, then.” He suggested softly, as if speaking through a cloud. In a way, he was doing just that. “I’ll call you by a nickname... Sapphire, perhaps? You... remind me of one...”   
Was there anything he could do right?

Ciel grabbed hold of the stuffed rabbit, clutching it tightly to his chest as his head fell back against the cushioned seat of the chair. He took deep breaths- he was coming down now, the very sound of Alois’ voice bringing him back to his reality.  
I’m not alone. Those men aren’t here. I’m not in a cage.  
My name is Ciel Phantomhive.  
“No...” Ciel replied, his voice slightly hoarse and no louder than a whisper. He reached a weak hand toward Alois and latched on to the first thing he felt, which happened to be the fabric of Alois’ coat. “..No, my.. My name is Ciel... I’m Ciel, I have to be..” Ciel turned to look to Alois, meeting his worried gaze with his own tired, defeated one. A pathetic smile crossed his lips, and he laughed lightly at his own ridiculousness. “I’m sorry.. I-.. I didn’t think it would be this difficult..” He spoke through pained giggles, tilting his head back to stare at the ceiling as the tears on his cheeks began to dry. “..I’m sorry...”  
It had been nearly seven years since Ciel allowed these feelings- these memories- to resurface. Other than the occasional thought of his brother, or a sudden flash of anger while erasing evil from the world, he had pushed that part of his life so far down that he barely remembered any of it until now. He barely remembered his own birth name.  
And now, here he was, embarrassed and disgusted with himself for falling apart like this. Even Alois didn’t do this. He held himself together more than Ciel had. Pathetic. He felt pathetic.

Feeling the fabric of his coat pulled on, he scrambled to hold Ciel’s hands in his own, removing one again to shrug off the article of clothing as a whole. He wasn’t sure what to do, but he thought that maybe his presence could help. He took the coat, draping it over the other’s shoulders frantically, then returning to place both hands on the panicked boy’s knees.   
“So you do what you need to.” He nearly whispered, trying to keep his voice palpable in the thick silence that filled every pause. “And you kill them. Anyone like that, you kill them.” He nodded as though this were a sound enough thing to say, he himself deranged with revenge. Swallowing hard, he considered what to say next - knowing what he wanted to say to him.   
“Ciel...” He trailed, taking one hand to pull on the fabric of his coat again, absentmindedly adjusting it. “This is the you that I love.” He paused, refusing to look up and instead focusing on the ground. “So don’t ever apologize to me. Be angry, be upset, be loud, be quiet - be pathetic. But never apologize, you sod.”

Ciel pulled the weight of his head forward, exhausted and weakened from anxiety but wanting to look at Alois. He curled into the coat, and he relished in the feeling of the warmth accompanied by the other boy’s smell.  
Everything he was saying was right. He did kill them. He killed the men who did this to him, who violated him and murdered his brother. With the power he held as a noble, as the Queen’s watchdog, he could kill anyone he wanted to. This was his true reason for doing the work he did. He lived to track down the evil in the world and extinguish it.  
The Phantomhive Earl looked so small now; so frail. The panic and fear began to subside, like the tide going out in the early morning. He hung on every word that Alois said, though one particular thing stuck out to him.  
“You love me?” Ciel asked, the way he looked at Alois able to be described as adoration and surprise.

Alois paused in his actions, frozen with his fingers tightly around Ciel’s knees. Biting his lip, he looked up as well, locking eyes with the Earl. They were equal here, sharing a moment of intimacy he never expected them to share. It wasn’t as if Alois intended any of this, merely following his curiosities where they lead for the fun of it. Yet, he’d found something much more.   
The boy had never experienced anything like it. Alois had jumped from bed to bed in search of it, the love he craved. He read piles upon piles of literature on the subject trying to feel what they felt in the pages. He loved the theatre, but it only gave him so much. These past few months had been completely different, sparking something in him that was completely new. Suddenly, he would feel excitement when he knew he would see the other Earl. He felt tightness in his chest when they walked together. He felt a need to cling to every word and gift, log every moment, keep it for later.   
Now here before him, walls down and weak, he knew for sure that what he felt was love. Searching the other’s eyes for approval, he shrank in front of him.   
“I... guess I do.” he responded, nervous and shaky. “I... don’t think there’s any other word for it.”

It was ironic really, how small the two of them felt in this moment. Both of them sat face to face, searching the other’s eyes for acceptance for different reasons.  
Ciel knew he felt it, too. While he wasn’t always the most outwardly emotional, he felt it. The anticipation of seeing Alois Trancy made him feel weak and jittery. Only a short while ago, he feared for a moment that his asthma was getting worse, as his chest grew tight each time he even thought of Alois. Even being around him, like this, made him feel safer and more comfortable than he had felt in what seemed like forever. The last time Ciel could remember feeling this way was when his parents were alive, and when he had his brother.  
“...I think I love you, too.” He suddenly blurted out, their eyes still locked as if each of them were afraid to look away. Leaving the stuffed rabbit on his own lap, Ciel rubbed the dried tears from his cheeks with his free hand and sat up, leaning forward a bit to close the distance between the two of them. “..At least I-.. I think I do..” He admitted nervously, sniffling slightly. “..I haven’t felt it before, not like this, but..”

Alois’ heart dropped into his stomach, not having realized how badly he’d wanted to hear those words his entire life. It was an intense feeling to hear it back, not even sure what this was supposed to feel like. He wondered if this is what Romeo felt for Juliet, why they died when losing one another. Without a moment’s hesitation, he would do the same. They were so similar and yet so different that they two fit together like a puzzle - Alois with his charm and joyous nature, and Ciel with his lack thereof and his wit that kept the taller one in line most of the time. Alois had a talent for lies, Ciel had a talent for secrecy. Even so, they had both ended up here, on the floor, tied together for the comfort of it.   
Hesitantly now, he lifted a hand to his partner’s cheek, brushing away the hair that had stuck itself there. Seeing him in this state, he couldn’t help but feel incredibly bound to comfort the other, to hold him, to make him laugh, anything to ease the pain he could see.   
“Me.. either...” Alois choked out in disbelief, coming to the full realization of it after having said the words. “It’s strange....” He trailed, his brow furrowing. “And yet, I’m glad it’s you. I think this is the you that I want to know better... I’m glad it was you...”

The dark haired boy couldn’t take his eyes off of the other, his gaze filled with confusion and adoration and all of the things that made love so...odd. But it was refreshing, in a way. Ciel pondered the thought in his mind; neither of them really knew what love felt like. Maybe they did once, long ago when they had their brothers to love them, but this was different. This love was flavored with longing, with a desire to never be apart. The two of them were chess pieces on the same side of the board, playing against the world.  
Ciel let out a pitiful chuckle, squeezing Alois’ hand as his other ran across his own forehead. “This is the me you want to know? A battered imposter whose only goal in life is to exact revenge?” He let go of Alois’ hand then, reaching up to run his fingers through the golden hair on the side of his head, tucking it behind his ear. He smirked. “..Very well.”  
It was as if, in that moment, both boys had their eyes opened to who they truly were. They were both beaten and battered, haunted by their pasts every second of every day. Both Earls were imposters in some way, both lying about their identity to the world so confidently that they sometimes forgot they were pretending. They were alone in a world that truly had it out for them, but they could be alone together.

Easing into the soft touch of Ciel’s hand on the side of his face, he closed his eyes and nodded subtly. “And I am the same.” He responded, an attempt at comfort. While he knew this way of living to be a difficult one, he also knew it well. He out of everyone could best understand the motivations for such an act. He didn’t feel like a pawn, or even on the opposing side, but felt like a fellow king alongside his equal. “And I will not hesitate to ruin anyone who questions that.”   
He paused, closing their distance even further and lingering just inches from his lover’s mouth. “Earl Phantomhive, Head of House Phantomhive, Queen’s Watchdog... you’re the power behind that name.” He lingered, drawn in as if by magnetism itself. “And I am taken by you.”   
He closed the distance, pulling Ciel into a slow but passionate sort of kiss, one driven by all he knew now. The two were raw and broken down, but together were able to piece themselves back together. It was as if the walls had come down between them and built themselves back up around them both, protecting them from all the world and preparing each for war if they needed to retaliate. In the cradle of revenge, small recognitions tasted sweet, and they made quick work of being each other’s confidant.

Ciel’s tensed shoulders fell as he melted into the kiss, the discomfort and anxiety he felt just moments ago beginning to fade away. In all his life, he had never loved the company of another person more than he did Alois’.  
He brought his hands up to cup either side of Alois’ face, holding him desperately close as if he feared that he would disappear if he let go. His lips are like silk. He smells like cinnamon again. Ciel found himself lost in his thoughts for a moment, only returning to reality as the kiss found a natural end.  
As their eyes met again Ciel smiled softly, his thumbs gently stroking Alois’ temples. “And I you.” He cooed. As Ciel shifted slightly he felt the weight of the stuffed rabbit in his lap; he had forgotten it was there. Gently picking it up he placed it in Alois’ hands, making sure he was holding it securely before letting go. “I mean it, have this. Don’t forget it when you leave.” Ciel paused a moment, stifling a small snort. “Or do. If you forget it, I’ll have a reason to see you again, and bring it to you.”

He snorted, leaning back on his hands after setting the rabbit solidly in his lap. Smiling mischievously to himself, he glanced back up at Ciel. Alois picked it up once again and put it back into the other boy’s lap.   
“Remember that I want to keep this.” He paused, winking. “And that you have to see me again to drop it off.”   
The act was a playful one, something to bind Ciel in a promise, albeit a light one. Alois was never a sure kind of person, though. He loved the idea of giving him new reasons to see him again, despite the powers that be being so determined to make sure they’d never fall out anyway. It was a security deposit.   
However, as they parted ways and went on their own ways, it was an unusually long time before they met again. Ciel was invited to the following week’s picnic lunch, but the blonde did not attend. Alois didn’t call for him, send anything his way, or even seek him out as he normally did by now. Without him there, it was strangely lackluster during the normally exuberant meetings. Through his friends, he’d discovered that the blonde had been sick in bed that week instead with some kind of flu. Apparently, it was mild, but he had a tendency for the dramatics. Expected.


	7. Chapter 7

In the silence of his dorm room, Alois was buried under more than one set of blankets, face down in his pillows. He’d attempted to do his homework for the week, but instead the books and notes piled around him in a studious mess. He whimpered to himself as he felt another wave of heat cross his head, a low fever, wishing he’d instead taken the rabbit with him. It was torture to be in this state without the other to comfort him.

In all honesty, Ciel found himself to be more annoyed than worried about the other. A cold was a cold- unpleasant, yes, but he didn’t appreciate the complete silence from Alois. Even as he attended such things as the picnic lunches or a simple walk through the campus with the boys he had met, Ciel continued to carry the small stuffed rabbit in a bag with him, in the off chance he got to see Alois again. On this particular day, however, Ciel’s patience had run thin. Ciel had endured a number of colds in his life, and even with his health problems never behaved this dramatically.  
It was just past lunch now, and the young Earl had said his goodbyes to the group of boys- he wasn’t quite ready to call any of them friends, though he did enjoy their company to a degree. He now stood at the bottom of the stairs just inside the entry to Alois’ dormitory, sighing deeply to himself as he recalled the last time he had to climb these bloody steps. He checked thoroughly to be sure no one was around to watch him struggle, then proceeding to make his way up to the third floor, at a painfully slow but safe pace.  
After catching his breath at the top, Ciel now stood in front of the dorm room he remembered to be Alois’. With him was a small bag, containing the stuffed rabbit and some salted crackers wrapped in cheesecloth. Ciel remembered how much the crackers seemed to help settle his stomach when he was sick, and he hoped they would do the same for Alois if he wanted them.  
He knocked gently, just three times against the door, leaning closer to the crack so his voice might be heard. “Trancy?” He called, only loud enough to be heard by the other boy. “Trancy, it’s me. I’ve... Well, I’ve brought some things. Open the door.”

Startled by the sudden noise at his door, Alois shot up in bed which made him rather dizzy in his state. He attempted to fix his disheveled hair half-heartedly but gave up quickly, sighing at how pathetic he probably looked anyway. Of course, half of him was glad that his love had come to check on him, but the rest of him was overly concerned with appearances, upset that he didn’t look his best in the slightest. Lifting his shirt to make sure he didn’t smell bad at the very least, he rubbed his eyes open.   
“C- Come in!” He attempted to respond, his voice catching in a cough which he muffled against his blankets. Suddenly, he felt overwhelming guilt for leaving him hanging, not realizing until now that he hadn’t sent anything out to tell him where he was. This was the first time he was in love, and he was already failing. Shit.

Ciel gently opened the door, slipping inside and closing it behind him before saying anything. His gaze was first drawn to the state of the room; papers and clothes cluttered on the floor and around the bed, a few water glasses on the bedside table, and the stuffiness of the air. He then turned his attention to Alois, his eyes widening a bit in surprise at the unfamiliar sight. Ciel had never seen him so disheveled, so caught off guard and messy. Even his hair was standing up in the back. He silently wondered to himself if he looked this way when he woke up in the mornings.  
“My, you look horrid.” Ciel smirked, strolling over towards the bed and pulling the chair from the desk to sit beside the sick boy. “Your friends told me you’re sick. I was wondering why I hadn’t heard from you.”

“Shut up, Phantomhive.” he mumbled, attempting once again to fix his hair which proved to still be a fruitless effort. Giving up on the task, he dropped his hands to the bed underneath him in frustration, a sort of small tantrum. His eyes were half-closed as he could feel another wave of heat pass through his head. Still, he watched as the other boy pulled up a chair beside him, silently glad he was here, even if he was rude when he least needed it.   
“I don’t know, I think I must’ve caught a chill being outside so late... I need to stop taking late night walks.” He mumbled, snatching his current glass of water off his nightstand and sipping at it. His face turned up as he realized it had been sitting out and had gone stale overnight. “I guess I forgot...” He admitted begrudgingly.

As if he had been waiting for a cue, Ciel plucked the water glass from Alois’ hand, standing and walking to the sink in the small attached bathroom of the dorm. “I’ve told you before, you ought to wear warmer coats when you do that.” He scolded, bringing back a fresh glass of water as he took his seat again. “Now look at you.”  
Without realizing it, the dark haired boy sounded awfully motherly. He hated germs, he always had, and had no intentions of getting any closer to Alois than he was now so long as he was sick. But nevertheless, he still felt sorry for the other Earl, and had been missing his company.  
“Ah,” He chimed suddenly, reaching to his side where his bag was. He gently pulled out the cheesecloth, unfolding it as he held it in the palm of his hand. “I brought you some salted crackers. These help settle your stomach, so..” He trailed off, holding them out to the sick boy.

Though he was initially irritated by his glass being grabbed, he allowed a small smile to cross his pale lips upon seeing the other cross the room to refill it. Along with the comment, it made him feel a bit safer. Silently, he wondered if this was what it was like to have a mother care for him when he was sick. He’d heard his friends talk about stuff like that, but he’d only ever had his servants and they weren’t particularly warm towards him, nor attentive.   
Alois attempted to laugh at the sight of the crackers, amused and touched by the gesture. However, any laugh he tried had him caught in a cough, which he turned away from Ciel for and allowed only facing away from him. He hadn’t in fact eaten much of anything due to his fever putting him off food for the time being, and it was more helpful than he was sure Ciel realized. Timidly, he plucked the packet from his hands, setting it on his nightstand for now.   
“This is... kind of embarrassing, isn’t it?” He suggested, his expression unsure and soft. Alois was one for appearances, wanting to dress up for the public and especially his love. He’d spend a half hour at least on his hair and his clothes every morning, spending longer when he was meeting Ciel that day. This disheveled, messy appearance was such a deviation from all of it that if he weren’t already feverish, his face would still be bright red.

Smiling to himself, he sunk back into bed, turning onto his side to watch the boy flutter around the room. “I find that hard to believe.” He commented, appreciating the help despite his discomfort. “I’m sure you look lovely all the time.”   
All his nicer coats were hung up in the wardrobe, currently donned in a nightgown that he’d been in all day, not having gone anywhere. Although he’d been sick, he tried to keep up on hygiene, still relatively clean. It was his room that had fallen into disarray as he tried to work through it anyway, which proved to be a terrible idea. Alois took a deep breath, enjoying the light spring air crossing the room.

Ciel looked back at Alois, shooting him a look that was some cross between a smirk and an eye roll. “This is hardly an appropriate time for flattery, Trancy.” He said, once again in a sort of scolding tone. It was all playful though, of course.  
The dark haired boy made a series of piles on Alois’ desk, organizing the papers as best he could by class, and piled up any dirty clothes in the corner and out of the way. “I expect to be paid handsomely for becoming your personal maid, whether or not you requested it.” Ciel teased, finally returning to sit down with a heavy sigh and a damp washcloth from the bathroom. “Lie on your back, put this on your forehead,” He ordered, handing the damp cloth to Alois so as to avoid touching his sweaty forehead. His kindness could only go so far, after all.

Alois watched as he stacked his things so neatly, taking excessive care with them. It was impressive how the smallest things could make him feel so safe and loved. He’d never felt this way before, especially when he got sick. He was far too used to being forgotten.   
As Ciel returned to his spot beside the bed, he sighed and did as he was told, taking the cloth and laying it on his forehead. Surprisingly, he felt better immediately, unaware of such a trick. He’d never had anyone do things like this for him, after all. “I’ll be sure to send you about three years’ worth of kisses when this is all over...” He mumbled, playful despite his exhaustion. “You know I love you, yeah?” He repeated the phrase as if it was a sort of thank you or a forgotten thought that he’d painstakingly retrieved from the back of his bag of tricks. The admission still caused a heavy silence, but in his feverish state, he’d barely even acknowledged its weight.

Ciel turned to look at him just then, his seeing eye wide with surprise and a light blush creeping its way onto his cheeks. He stifled a smile and looked down at his lap, fidgeting with his fingers as he leaned back in his chair.  
“I do,” The boy acknowledged the other’s question, looking back at him out of the corner of his eye. “And I you, of course..”  
It still felt so odd to say. The two of them had only said it once, after all, and Ciel had never really said those words at all before then. He had never said he loved anyone, nor had he said it to anyone’s face. The words made his tongue tingle- they felt right and true, so he knew he wasn’t lying. But the only thing Ciel could accurately compare the feeling to was that of one’s first time attempting to speak a foreign language.  
“When you’re better,” He began, clearing his throat so as to dissolve some of the tension only he was feeling. “We should go somewhere, do something. I don’t know, maybe an art museum?” Ciel offered, knowing full well Alois would find it far more interesting than he would himself. Thinking about it though, he didn’t mind the idea of watching Alois frolic about, excited by the paintings and portraits that decorated every inch of every wall.

Alois laughed quietly, then rounding into another coughing fit for which he put his arm over his mouth. He wasn’t sure why Ciel’s embarrassment amused him so much, but it truly never got old. Perhaps he was just used to the stoic boy he met at first, stripped down to whole. It was almost refreshing to see another side of him.   
“You may find this shocking, but I’ve never been to one...” He trailed, eyes half-lidded as his fever subsided just a bit. It was the kind of thing he’d always wanted to do, but had never had the chance to before amongst his studies. The older paintings, cracking at their corners and the newer ones, placed at higher acclaim than many thought was deserved. A million Venuses and landscapes, each one unique in their own right. It sounded simply heavenly.   
Before realizing it, the blonde earl had fallen asleep comfortably beside Ciel, dreaming of a getaway with him and hoping for many more after the fact. The marble of the building, the royal blue of the other’s suit, getting older and growing taller alongside him. There would be nothing to hide from here on out, and it was a deep comfort for someone to know him and to know someone. Life had become slightly less lonely.

Ciel only noticed Alois had drifted off once he stopped talking, not having realized he had started to ramble on about all the things they could do as soon as Alois was in good health. He talked about the art museums and nice restaurants with privacy booths, his favorite library growing up, and even hinted at more picnics with Alois’ school friends before the weather got cold again. As he looked down at the blond, now sleeping soundly, Ciel gently removed the damp cloth from his forehead and set it on the bedside table. His hand bumped a book: Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare, the same book that had been marked before by the dried bluebell he had given Alois as a gift. Smiling softly, Ciel picked up the book, adjusting comfortably into his chair beside the bed and beginning to read to himself, starting at page one.  
The two young Earl’s were up against a mean and nasty world, one that would likely spread rumors made to ruin them whenever the chance arose. But each of them knew, even without saying it aloud, that they were capable of facing it together. Their pasts were like books of the same genre, just with slightly different stories. Even their present day lives were like mirror reflections of one another. At such a young age, the two had discovered what it felt like to truly love another person, and that was all they needed for now. They had their whole lives ahead of them, and while neither Ciel Phantomhive nor Alois Trancy could predict the future, they were sure that, at least for now, they’d spend as much of it as they could side by side.

FIN.


End file.
